The amazing race Bleach style
by Five seas
Summary: Chaos for men in Seiretei...over a leaflet? Somebody's looking for a match, and arranges a race among the women to find it. Is it a joke? A test? Or maybe a trap? Who is the mysery man and what would Ichigo and the other guys say to this? Multi-couple.
1. Something you never anticipated

**Hi...I hope you like this. There will be plenty of couples, but I'm pointing out one because...well, I have to.**

**I do not own Bleach or the characters...just the idea.

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Something you never anticipated 

It was a sunny day. So sunny people got out with umbrellas to keep cool. Two high school girls were walking down the street, looking for ice cream. One of them had bright orange hair, the other one was short, with a grim and serious expression.

"Seriously, why isn't there an ice cream truck, and it's the hottest day of the year." The latter said.

"I'm sure we'll find one." The other one said, a bright and happy expression on her face. "People know how much they can make right now, everybody's dying for something to cool them down."

"Yeah, I guess so." Sighed Kuchiki Rukia. "Maybe we should try the other street."

But as they were going to turn to the other street, a loud and happy voice called:

"Yooooo, Rukia-san, Orihime-san….."

They turned to see a group of young women approaching them-a group that was so familiar they couldn't have missed. It was Matsumoto fukutaicho, Hinamori fukutaicho, Ise fukutaicho, Nemu fukutaicho and Isane fukutaicho from Soul Society. They were a really distinguishing group, but not only because they were very beautiful.

The other reason they attracted attention was because the way they were dressed. Obviously they were in faux bodies, and that they wanted to wear the proper clothing. But what clothing! Hinatori and Isane wore baggy sweaters and brightly colored gores, probably worn during the 60's or 70's. Nanao and Nemu had dug out some gothic black gowns, and Matsumoto had a white dress on, just like the one Merlin Monroe wore on her famous photo-shoot. All that was missing was an air vent.

"Hiiii!" Matsumoto sang out, shaking hands with Orihime "How's it going?"

"OK, just a little hot." Orihime smiled

"What are you guys doing here?" asked Rukia, surprised.

"Weeeeelll, we decided to come here to check things out." Laughed Matsumoto "Thins in Soul Society are so dull, even drinking isn't as fun. And this human world is full of interesting stuff."

"That's great, but how did you guys make your taichos let you off for this?" Rukia was still stunned.

"Right now we're choosing a new taicho for the fifth squad." Said Hinamori "Unohana taicho didn't need Isane today, and Toushiro had a meeting….."

"Kyouraku taicho was sleeping." Nanao sighed

"And I told Mayuri-sama that this was a special research field trip in order to understand the habits, traditions, etc of humans." Nemu finished, obviously proud of herself. It was indeed a great feat, to get permission from Kurotsuchi taicho to do anything, especially as it regarded Nemu. The 12th division's captain was pretty strict when it came to his daughter.

* * *

"So-o-o…" Matsumoto smiled widely "What are you two up to?"

"Ice cream." Answered Orihime. Matsumoto gave her a weird look and Rukia asked herself if the 1-th division fukutaicho was drunk again. But no, Matsumoto was in top shape as ever. Attracting the eyes of every male creature that dared come out in the heat.

"Well, let's go together." Matsumoto said at last "I tried making taicho come with us, but he's so stubborn. He just won't get that…."

"All work and no play makes Toushiro a sad boy. We know, Matsumoto, you talked about nothing else on our way here." Nanao pressed her glasses to her nose. "Let's find a more suitable theme to discuss and since we're on it-a cooler place."

Nobody objected and the small group headed towards a pastry shop nearby. There, they all got ice cream the size of mount Everest, and started talking about things like boys, clothes and Shinigami duties. The latter were discussed in really low voices, since not everybody would understand it well.

"So, are you guys coming to Soul Society soon?" asked Hinamori after a while, looking at Rukia "Kuchiki taicho is organizing a really important party."

"He is? What's the occasion?" asked Isane

"We were hoping Rukia might answer that." Nanao said "But judging by her face, I guess Kuchiki taicho keeps the occasion a secret even from his sister. I take it that he hasn't sent you an invitation either, huh?"

"No…but nii-sama has his reasons. He never expected that I'm present on such assemblies." Answered Rukia. "I guess….HEY!"

Her thoughts were cut in the middle as a bunch of leaflets covered their table and all the surroundings. They were everywhere, but it was obvious they weren't your ordinary advertisements. They ere printed on some weird paper and there was but a single message, written without colorful surroundings and stuff-just a bunch of kanji.

"What on earth is this?" Nanao said, crossing her arms and looking at the paper in disgust

"It's some kind of a race…." Isane said, looking at it "_Participate with a friend, win a date with the most handsome man in S.S._"

"Really?" Hinamori blinked a couple of times. "Why on earth would anybody do such a thing?"

"Are you guys blind or something!" Matsumoto said, drawing everybody's attention to her. Her senses were as sharp as ever, but she seemed amused for some reason. "Look around? Why doesn't anybody else notice these?"

She was right of course-everywhere around them, people were paying no attention to the paper on the chairs, on the floor, on the tables. Some were even eating their ice-cream through the sheets.

Rukia carefully took one of the leaflets and gave it a close look.

"It's soul leafs." She said "That's why nobody else sees them."

"Exactly. That means they were addressed especially to us or anybody who has the spiritual force required." Matsumoto explained, a grin popping on her face "And S.S. means Soul Society. Somebody's looking for a girlfriend."

"But…" Nanao looked at the advertisement with more attention "That's a race of some sorts, isn't it? Why wouldn't the guy just ask somebody out, instead of asking every girl to compete?"

"And it's not even mentioned who is that handsome man." Isane pointed out, clearly puzzled. But Matsumoto waved her finger around and laughed.

"You guys, you don't get it, do you? Whoever does this is obviously too shy to approach any of us, or is too proud to face rejection. Probably both. Wanna guess from three times who is that? Furthermore, his ego's probably astronomical, having in mind that he proclaims himself as the most handsome man of all Soul Society."

"You're not suggesting this is Kuchiki-san's brother?" asked Orihime.

"Bingo." Matsumoto's grin was occupying half of her face. "I bet Rukia's bro's looking for a fiancée."

"You're not serious. Nii-sama wouldn't do that." Objected Rukia.

"Look, I know you're hoping that he's still faithful to Hisana-san's memory, but come now-he had to move on sooner or later. Besides, marrying again doesn't mean he'll forget about her."

"No, I mean that Nii-sama wouldn't choose such a way to do things."

"Fine then, it must be one of the other handsome and rich men of Soul Society, because you can't bring something like this about without some cash." Matsumoto went on. A thought popped into her mind. _"Could it be…"_

"Look, I say we bury these and forget all about them." Nanao said "It's probably someone's bad joke, and somebody else might actually buy it."

"Oh, Nanao, why do you have to do that?" Matsumoto pouted. "You're just like some noisy mother."

"We should forget all about that, I bet it's just a bad joke." Nanao kept her own "Anyway, why should we even consider it, it's none of our business."

"Oh yes, it is! What if this guy is actually hoping in secret that one of us might participate so he could tell his feelings for her? Maybe he's doing all this for a single woman only."

"Ridiculous." Nanao crossed her arms, but some hesitation crept into her mind.

"I'm with Nanao-san." Rukia said "It's not worth it."

"And becides…." Nemu cut in "It says here that we must enter the competition in teams of two, and the man's only one. This means that up until a certain moment we have to rely on a person to go on, meaning that she must be a close friend. Also, after that point, we must split up with her if we want to win. And she will do the same. Which means that we'll probably spend a great part of the race relying on a person that will let us down. And…"

Everybody goggled at her, waiting her to go on.

"Wouldn't that be a…betrayal? I mean that we'll have to choose between a friend and some unknown guy. If we win, wouldn't that affect our friendship with whoever we chose?"

Grave silence befell on them. Yes, that was a rather unfortunate turn of events. It wouldn't be good to lose someone's friendship…

"So do we agree that none of us will participate?" asked Nanao at last.

"Agreed." Everybody said and didn't say a word about it until the end of the day. But each of them hid a leaflet.

* * *

After Rukia and Orihime sent the others through the gate the orange-head looked at her friend and said hesitatingly:

"Um, Kuchiki-san…do you really want to…not participate…in that race thingy…"

"I don't know." Rukia said "I agree with Nanao-san that this might be a trick but…I can't help and wonder…if it's Ichigo…"

"What?! I doubt that Kurosaki-kun might do that. I mean…well…"

"Like Matsumoto said he's probably looking for a way to express his feelings…and Ichigo was never very good with words…"

"Then…what do you think…could he be trying to say something to…one of us?"

"Who knows?" Rukia sighed "You know….I'm beginning to wonder about this. It could be that…or a joke…or a trap."

"Eh?"

"We all have enemies, no matter what we say. What if this is a test to see our power…or even to destroy us?"

"Then?"

"There is no point of telling anybody about this, it may be just a false alarm…but we might as well check it out."

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A/N-A little weird, I'll do better. Until then tell me what you think, please. 


	2. Plots

**Ok, second chapter at long last. Sorry for keeping you wait. Oh, and thanks for all the reviews, it was really nice to have them.

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Plots 

So the leaflets began their range of destruction. And the first person to break the promise was no other that Isane fukutaicho.

But Isane didn't do it out of bad heart-she felt really uncomfortable for doing something she and the others decided not to do. But thankfully, her actions helped the others more than imaginable.

Since she needed another person to enter the race she started looking among her acquaintances for somebody suitable. She still remembered Nemu's words-it would be traitorous to drag a friend into this just because she needed her to get to the second or third round. So she went to the first person she thought it wouldn't matter. Yachiro.

"What do you want, granny?" asked the 11th division fukutaicho

"I'm not a granny. My hair's naturally white." Isane objected, but arguing with Yachiro was like talking to a wall.

"Whatever, granny. What do you want?"

Isane took a deep breath.

"Yachiru-chan….can I ask you for a favor?"

"What is it?" the 11th division fukutaicho seened pissed.

"Um….can you help me for something…." Isane tried explaining it to her.

"Why do you want my help on that?" Yachiro asked the ten million dollar question.

"Well…because it wouldn't matter to you….wouldn't it?" and all Hell broke loose….surprisingly in silence.

"Get lost." Was all Yachiro said before heading back to her division's barracks.

* * *

Meanwhile, Hinamori was facing serious doubts, but when she knocked on Matsumoto's door, there was no heading back.

The 10th division fukutaicho was a mess-after their return from the living world she went to a tavern with some of the others. She ended up on Nanao's shoulder, drunk and unable to move. Now she was fighting the hangover and Hinamori wondered if she's going to understand a word from her. But as soon as she started talking, Matsumoto's head quickly cleared out.

"You want to participate?" Rangiku's jaw dropped-she had forgotten completely about those leaflets "And with ME of all people."

"Yes…." Hinamori blinked "I thought that it was only natural."

"Natural? I don't understand a word you're saying."

"Um…well, I think we both know who's behind all this." Actually, Matsumoto was giving it a thought for the first time after the return, she had forgotten about the copy she saved for some unknown reason. But it hadn't left Hinamori's head and the 5th squad lieutenant had spent the entire night thinking it over.

"Well….it's Toushiro-kun." Hinamori breathed out and watched as Matsumoto's eyes grew as big as plates.

"Taicho?" Rangiku shook her head to make sure she wasn't still drunk. "But that's….taht's…." Hinamori waited for a reply, but Matsumoto reacted in a different way "It's creepy the least. Why would Taicho do such a thing, I mean he's not the kind of guy that would play with the women of Soul Society like that. Sure, if it was Gin I wouldn't have been surprised, I mean he's a sneaky bastard and all, I would expect anything from him. But Taicho's….well, I always thought him a real gentleman. Plus he's not even old enough, I didn't even think that hormones started kicking in."

"Matsumoto-san, it's not about that….I mean that he's just shy. He likes both of us but can't decide on which one."

"Both of us?" Rangiku shook her head. It was on the tip of her tongue to say that if she was indeed the object of her Taicho's affections she wouldn't have to share that position with anybody else. Just like her position as a fukutaicho. But the fact that Hinamori was Toushiro's best friend kind of….well, changed things.

"Well…." Rangiku said "If he's doing that just to decide on both of us, wouldn't our participate together confuse him more? I mean, why not just go to him and ask him which one her likes better."

"He wouldn't be doing that if he had decided on one of us. Though I think it's pointless, I say we should play along."

"Point…" Matsumoto really got pissed. She hated being second to anyone, other than her Taicho, she didn't like sharing his affections with another woman, and definitely didn't tolerate such language from that other woman. And ESPECIALLY if that woman was Hinamori Momo. "Fine, let's do it!"

* * *

And during that fateful conversation, the 11th division was facing serious trouble.

"NOBODY LOVES MEEEE!"

Ikkaku and Yumichika were desperately trying to calm their fukutaicho, who was, unlike her, crying her eyes out. The two shinigamis were doing everything possible to make her stop-bribing her with candy, screaming, begging, hitting each other and calling tehmeslves "Q-ball" and "Peacock-brow", something she usually took great pleasure in. But right not Yachiro was seriously unhappy, nothing seemed to calm her down.

Ikkaku and Yumichika acted stupid as if their lives depended on it. Actually, that was just the case, because if Zaraki taicho walked into the barracks and saw his lieutenant like that he would first kill everybody in sight and then try asking her what the matter was.

And as if Fate was playing a really bad joke on them, their captain flashed in the room the very same moment when Ikkaku was trying to strangle Yumichika, holding him in a very….weird position.

"What the Hell are you two doing?" Zaraki grunted out and then his ears managed to pick up some sobs. "WHY IS YACHIRO CRYING!" he boomed and his two suburbanites tried to become invisible….with very little success.

"WE DON'T KNOW!" Yumichika screamed and hid under a chair.

"We found her like that!" Ikkaku said, fearing the worst. Thankfully, Zaraki had enough regard of his eardrums and decided to calm his fukutaicho rather than kill the other two.

"Yachiro…" he tried getting her attention. Success-0. "YACHIRO!" he yelled at her, this time making her jump at her seat and look at him surprisingly. Then she burst into tears, louder than ever. A river of words escaped her lips, but none of the three men in the room got much of it.

"Taicho, maybe we should call Unohana Taicho?" Yumichika suggested.

"Yeah, right." Zaraki grunted his teeth, picked Yachiko up with one hand and spun her around himself fast, so she forgot to cry and gasped.

"Yaaa, Ken-chan, put me down, I'm getting dizzy!"

"There." Zaraki said as he placed her on the table "Now tell we, what the Hell was that all about?!"

"Nobody loves me." Yachiro sniffed sadly "They don't think me as a friend. Today that kid Isane asked me to participate in some stupid race with her because I wasn't her close friend."

Zaraki's eyebrow cocked and he listened to Yachiro's explanation as Ikkaku and Yumichika cleaned the room.

"So that's it." Zaraki smirked "I get it. Yachiro, give me that leaflet Isane gave you. Hey, idiots!" he yelled at Yumichika and Ikkaku "You two keep Yachiro busy, I have something to do."

"How?" Ikkaku cocked his eyebrow.

"How?" Zaraki grabbed his head and shook him like he was a piece of paper "Be yourselves. Idiots!" and he left the room. Yachiro turned her head to the other two.

"Can you guys hit yourselves on your heads with chairs again?" she asked in a sweet voice.

"And we just cleaned up." Ikkaku sighed as Yumichika took another chair.

* * *

In the meanwhile captain Ukitatke Joushiro woke up. He felt really bad, his throat was burning. He remembered returning after captain's meeting last night and then...backing out. The ceiling was familiar-he was in the forth division. But there was somebody in the same bed with him.

He gaped at Kurotsuchi Nemu, who was sitting next to him, her small arms wrapped around his neck as his head rested in her lap. Captain Ukitake wasn't sure whether the situation was awkward or just weird.

Nemu opened her eyes.

"Good morning, captain Ukitake." Her voice was calm and professional, as always. Like an emotionless doll, but Joushiro knew better. There were feelings hidden under all that senselessness and he had seen it...like when she was so badly hurt she couldn't keep her feet and her father yelled at her.

"Good morning...Nemu-san." Joushiro noticed something else. She was wearing a black gothic dress, like some vampire's bride. Not that it didn't suit her, it was really good...but the neckline was so deep and it was so tight around the waist and bust...he wondered how Kurotsuchi taicho allowed her to go out dressed like that.

"Can you...please tell me what's this?" he asked quietly.

"Well, I was on an exploratory mission with the rest of the female fukutaichos on Earth and I had to wear something that would...blend in." She frowned with the use of a term she wasn't comfortable with.

"Really?" Joushiro doubted seriously that fashion on Earth was like this, but he kept it to himself. "And...how did I end up here? This is the 4th division, no?"

"On my way back I found you lying on the ground. Apparently, you were having another relapse and I thought it best to take you here. Unohana taicho was alone, Isane fukutaicho was clearly not back yet, and I gave her a hand in treating you, but then she needed to see some other patients and asked me to look after you and inform her if you regain consciousness." Nemu thought about it for a moment "Do you feel badly? In pain? If there is anything that I can do in order to help you, because she's asleep now..."

"No, I'm fine." Joushiro said and tired getting up, but Nemu's hands kept him down.

"It's for your best that you rest now. Your relapse was very strong." Nemu advised him calmly.

"Oh...very well then." Joushiro sat in the bed, careful not to cause himself something, but enough cautious to keep his distance from Nemu. She was a sweet girl, very caring too, but her father didn't take it too well. Speaking of which.

"Nemu-san, why isn't your father here to pick you up?"

"Mayuri-sama is in the middle of some very important experimenting, he doesn't need me. He expects me to come back today. Our trip to the living world was rather short. Just for us to meet Kuchiki-san and Inoue-san. And to do something called...shopping. I got Mayuri-sama something called a stethoscope, do you think he'll like it?"

"Probably." Joushiro was surprised with the way they had spend almost the whole night together and how she had endured it. "Nemu-san, why did you...um..." she looked puzzled and he looked for a more...polite way to express himself "Why were you holding me like that...when I woke up?"

"You were having a bad dream, Ukitake taicho. I thought that it would be comforting for you."

Logical. Joushiro looked at her, amazed at her calmness and coolness-she had no problem maintaining the uncomfortable watch all night and she was so fresh and cheerful...as cheerful as she could be. She was so beautiful that morning too, and that dress did suit her...maybe it had too much lace, but it was perfect for her. And there was a small light in her eyes, a light he hadn't seen before. It was very pretty, he thought with amazement.

"Ukitake taicho, may I tell you something?" she asked quietly, looking a little uneasy.

"Yes...what is it?" Joushiro was curious.

"Um...well...I think that you should know that I really like working with you. Executing missions with you is always very wonderful..." she was uncomfortable with using so many terms that referred to feelings "And nursing you tonight wasn't very hard either. Usually I would be tired, but looking after you seems to fill me with energy."

Joushiro's eyes grew bigger. Was she trying to express her feelings?

"What I am trying to say is..." Nemu paused, a little uneasy "That I...like you...though the term is a little out of place. I think it's more than liking, but...I mean...will you allow me to...keep close to you?" she paused, confused by the usage of so many abstract words in the same time.

Joushiro gaped at her. He was so surprised he didn't know what to say. Then he coughed...he felt really uneasy, especially with a very furious blush coming to his cheeks.

"Nemu san..." he said, feeling like a real jerk "I know how you feel but...we really shouldn't do this. I'm sure there are other men who you like and...that are more suitable for you. I just...It's inappropriate. Please understand."

"But I do not like other men like that..." Nemu stopped, surprised at her own boldness. She got up and said. "I am sorry. I will go now. Thank you for your time."

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A/N-I'll update the next chapter in a few minutes, I just split this chapter in little bits. Long chapters can be very unappealing, I know for myself. 


	3. Reflections of a woman

**Chapter three, originally part of chapter two.

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Reflections of a woman 

Jushiro sighed as he looked outside the window. Nemu had left hours ago and he couldn't forget about the way he treated her. Not that he didn't like her too, she was really sweet and kind...but that wasn't enough to engage a relationship, let alone toy with her feelings. She was so clueless about everything, she probably didn't even know how love felt like. It wasn't right. It wasn't honorable.

Hell, he liked her more. Like wasn't the right term, it was stronger, in her words. But maybe it was just brotherly affection, the same he felt for Rukia or Hinamori fukutaicho…Not love. It couldn't be serious….right?

* * *

Meanwhile Nanao walked up to the office. She enjoyed the comfort of her uniform, instead of that uptight dress. A paper bag hung from her hand and she was wondering how to explain… 

Her thought were interrupted when she saw the door of the office wide open. She walked up to if fast, her hand reaching for her katana, the fingers of the other preparing a kido spell. She stopped at the entrance, looking in cautiously. No enemy spirit energy. But there were people in.

A young woman was kneeling near her taicho's desk, shouting at something on the floor. She was one of his exes, Nanao thought with bitterness. Some of his girlfriends didn't give up on him so easily. With a quiet sigh she put the bag under her desk and undid the spell she was preparing.

Upon hearing her steps the woman turned and looked at her. Nanao's plain looks probably calmed her down, clearly she wasn't a suitable rival, and turned back to the thing on the floor, which, judging by the spirit energy, was Kyoraku taicho, probably dead drunk.

"I think he's out now." Nanao stated calmly "Why don't you come back and shout at him later?"

"Shut up, stupid." The woman hissed.

"Oi, oi, don't you dare offence Nanao-chan." A familiar, and very dizzy voice called from the floor. "Or else I'll deal with you."

The angry woman hissed angrily at him and stormed out of the office. Nanao sighed. It was just like that TV series popular in the human world now…how was it…."Ugly Betty"? Though Nanao didn't think herself that naïve, things were almost the same here.

"Yare, Nanao-chan, will you help me up?" called her taicho and with a sigh she went to him.

"Jeez, why can't you be sober at least once when you come to the office." Nanao said as she was trying to pull him up. Suddenly, a weird smell coming from his haori hit her. Something different from his usual scent of alcohol. And she knew what it was.

"Thanks." He said, smiling at her dizzily, his hangover too strong to notice the saddened look in her eyes. Then he frowned and held his mouth. Nanao sighed, knowing what was coming, and took him to the nearest bathroom and held his forehead as he vomited in the sink.

So he had gotten himself drunk AND been with some woman. Sheesh! In the office of all places. She was able to endure his laziness, all the paperwork, all the stupid nicknames he called her…couldn't he just have a little respect for the office.

"_Well, he can't help getting drunk…" _she thought, and then shook her head horrified _"Great, I'm making excuses for him. Next thing I know, I'll be falling for him."_

She, of course, didn't consider romance as ever possible, because even if Shunsui had many faults, he was a great captain. Looking for someone felt…wrong. He was like a pup you don't have the heart to kick away. But she couldn't help and ask herself the question _"Don't I deserve more? A person that cares and respects me?"  
_

That reminded her of the leaflet. Out of curiosity, she had contacted the person mentioned for inscriptions on the scrap of paper, just to inform herself. There were many phases, the last of which was a ball. It seemed just dreamy but…no, it was stupid. Participating in stuff like that was a sign of desperation and Nanao wasn't desperate. The paperwork was the smallest problem.

The truth was that she had a weird affection for the office, the job, her workmates, even her lazy taicho. _"Whoa, scratch that thought, Nanao!"_ she ordered herself.

Shunsui washed his face and smiled at her radiantly.

"Thank you, Nanao chan. You truly are a blessing. What would I do without you?!"

"Nothing much." She answered, washed her hands and went back to her desk, and kicked the paper bag under her chair so her hakama might hide it.

* * *

Hatsugaya taicho looked at his lieutenant Matsumoto, who was clearly not herself, at least not today. The first thing that put him on guard was the fact that she was in the office, completely sober and on time, without her usual hyperactive face or super-cheerful smile. The second was that she was doing paperwork. 

And how-as of the end of the world was coming. The stacks of paper on her left side were enough for the next three months. Hitsugaya thought about two reasons. One-she must be heartbroken, or two-she wanted something. Either way, she was going to address it to him, so he decided not to ask her.

But surprisingly, she didn't say a word until lunch. As if she wasn't there. Her hands moved, but automatically, barely paying attention to anything. Her accurate handwriting filled the pages from end to end, but her face was stuck with a pensive look, her eyes distant and clouded by thoughts. Hitsugaya never saw her like that.

"Matsumoto-san" he gave in "How did your trip to Karakura went?"

"Uh? Oh, yeah, the trip. Very nice, I got you some new pens, but I forgot them at home." Matsumoto avoided his gaze. What, did she have an affair last night?

"Ne, taicho…" Matsumoto drawled "Can I ask you something?"

"What?"

"Do you…find me pretty?" Oh, men, was it that serious?

"Pre-tty?" Hitsugaya found himself in a dangerous position. He knew telling a woman whether she was pretty or not was being in the tiger pit-one wrong move and you get a limb or two torn out. "You are a very…dashing woman, Matsumoto san. I am sure people find you attractive, but I'm not the person to address when it comes to feminine beauty."

"_No he really is doubting"_ Matsumoto thought and decided to move on

"Taicho, can I have the next few days off?"

* * *

The sentence echoed in the same time in both offices of the 8th and 10th division. And the reactions of the taichos were different. 

Kyoraku taicho looked at his fukutaicho in amazement, not knowing what to say. Hearing such a thing from Nanao was….unthinkable.

"Why?" was all he managed out, then it hit him "Are you hurt, Nanao-chan? Are you sick? Should I call for somebody from the 4th division to see you?"

"Wha…no, no!" Nanao protested, but it was too late. Her captain had gotten up from his seat and placed himself exactly in front of her. His palms rested on her petite shoulders as he examined her face.

"You look pale!" he exclaimed "You ARE sick!"

"Taicho, you're overreacting…" but no, worthless, he started walking around the room, waving his hands around.

"No, this is no good. We can't wait for somebody to come! I must carry directly to Unohana san myself, and with no delay, lest you should die from some unknown disease!"

A slam from Nanao's fan stopped his babbling.

"Taicho…" she began firmly "I appreciate your concern, but I am OK. I just…I feel tired from all that paperwork I did and I need some time to calm down." She folded her sleeve to show her arm "See? If I don't relax my muscles I really might catch something. There was a composer on Earth, Robert Schumann, who actually got himself paralyzed from tensing his muscles too much."

"Ah, I see!" Kyoraku taicho exclaimed and gave her a friendly pat on the head "Of course, my sweet Nanao-chan. You can have all the rest you want, and your beloved taicho will be by your side all the time, making sure that you are nice and relaxed, so you might not end up like that composer and come back to me in all your virtuosity. You surely deserve encouragement for your genius, Nanao-chan."

"All I need is some time off." Nanao cut him "I will be back as soon as I can."

"_When I shake off the feeling I'm being treated like a dog."_ Nanao thought and walked out of the office.

* * *

She went in her small apartment. She didn't turn on the lights, she disposed the bag on the table and took scissors with the intention to destroy that proof of her weakness, but she hesitated. Instead Nanao placed her hands in front of her face and sighed. 

"Why is it so difficult?"

"What is?" a quiet voice came from the door. Nanao turned to see Nemu on the doorway, looking clueless as usual.

"Ah, Nemu-san, I didn't see you there. Come in." Nanao turned on the lights and started warming some water, being the hospitable and well-bred young lady she was. "What brings you here?"

Nemu waited until the cup of tea was placed in front of her, and took a sip from it before answering.

"I have been feeling a little insecure…." She started. "I…I told captain Ukitake how I felt today."

"Oh." Nanao blinked "And how did he react?"

"Well…He refused to accept them." Nemu looked out the window "And all day I felt like…like having water from my eyes…you know, when you're unhappy you…"

"Cry?" Nanao reminded herself that Nemu's father didn't encourage his daughter in developing the feeling side of her "But what did Ukitake taicho tell you? Did he tell you why he didn't accept your feelings?"

"He said it was inappropriate." Nemu looked at Nanao "Is that why you don't confess to your taicho? Because it's inappropriate?"

"No!" Nanao blushed "Well…it's one of the reasons…"

"What is the other?" asked Nemu curiously.

"He…it's difficult…Kyoraku taicho is really good, he's just so….unserious." It was true. Nanao loved him with all his quirks, but couldn't help and wish he was more sincere. Every man had a way of loving. Women had but one. And that was the biggest tragedy. How could any woman find a man that loves her the same way she loves him?

"Why didn't you confess? I mean….You could just explain it to him like when you tell me."

"It's easy with you, Nemu-san. With Kyoraku taicho….I can't ever tell when he's serious or not."

"Well….I was wondering if we could participate in that race together." Nemu said "You know…that one with…"

"Huh? Why?"

"I just thought it would be fun. Even if we win, it would be good exercise and I might learn why did Ukitake taicho reject me." Nemu said.

Nanao blinked. She got up and went to the window. Outside, Soul Society was sleeping. Why did Nemu ask her of all people? Nanao couldn't do it. But as she was looking out the window, she saw a younger, more exigent Ise Nanao. She wasn't very happy.

"Why are you doing this to yourself?" she asked angrily "Look at you and look at him. He can't even tell you he loves you. How many centuries more will you wait so he could grow up?"

"Yes…" Nanao said "Why not. I'll help you, Nemu-san."

"If you don't like it, you don't have to…" started Nemu, but Nanao shook her head.

"No…You had the courage to be honest, at least, Nemu-san. It would be an honor to participate in that race with you."

* * *

A/N-Weeeeel, that took a while. Wondering what the guys have to say about this little race? 


	4. A guy has to say what a guy has to say

**A new chapter, as usual I don't own anything but the ideas in it. Not a very funny one, I guess, but since all of you asked so nicely for me to update soon. Thanks again to AllenxWalker'sxEnemy, LuffysAngel, darkangel1910 and Annoymous fan 222 for the comments on this story, I hope you keep liking it.

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**

A guy has to say what a guy has to say 

Unohana taicho and Soi Fon taicho excused themselves and so captain's night out became guy's night out. Which meant that Renji, Kira and Ikkaku were invited, and the whole group went to the Living world to see Ichigo (and try some of the drinks there.) They were as strange-looking as the women were the other day-since in order to go to a bar they had to go into gigais and put ordinary clothes on. The ridiculous combinations of clothes and colors would make Ishida scream with terror….

Which he did, because in the current moment he was with Ichigo. Kurosaki though, reacted like any normal man would and burst out laughing at the shinigamis in disguise, who looked really puzzled. And why not? Who was there to tell them you can't match a suit of armor with a haori, or that nightgowns weren't a garment to go out drinking. So the only place that let them in was a small, smoked bar in the suburbs. It was almost empty, but they did attract weird glances.

"Sheesh, who knew this would be so hard." Sighed Shunsui "These breastplates are heavy. How can you guys wear them?"

"They haven't been worn for at least 5 centuries." Ishida grunted, determined to stay with them and teach them a thing or two about clothing.

"Well, that explains a lot." Byakuya said. The 6th division taicho wasn't sure why people laughed wherever the went. Actually, he was to only one properly dressed but there was a very large colorful sticker that said "100 gold"….on the back of his pants. It's left to the reader's imagination to tell where exactly it was.

* * *

Indeed, they were a site to look at. Jushiro and Shunsui started telling jokes to Ichigo, pausing to adjust their clown suit/armor. Byakuya, Mayuri and Toushiro were sitting with grim expressions and drinking lemonade, Kira was inquiring after Ikkaku's bruised face, Renji was getting himself drunk and Ishida was trying not to look stupid. Zaraki taicho was just smirking, waiting for the right moment to drop the bomb on them.

"Yare, we should've invited Urahara-kun along." Shunsui said after his third sake "The guy would've made this whole thing a lot funnier."

"Funny?" Mayuri taicho drawled "That good for nothing is a lousy excuse for a shinigami."

"Oi, oi, let's not be too harsh on him. I heard Yoruichi's been around lately-maybe they're making up for the lost time."

"Bullshit. I haven't sensed that traitor's reiatsu here."

"You were never good in that, Mayuri-taicho."

"Yoruichi's always been good in hiding her reiatsu. Women are always good in that." Byakuya cut it.

"Yare, Unohana-san's birthday's coming up." Shunsui drawled "You know, she does so much for us….let's throw her a surprise party."

"Yes…it's a good idea. Let's make it a Living world clothing party. We'll dress like humans. I've seen very elegantly dressed ladies-it would be tons of fun." Smiled captain Ukitake.

"But I will do the designs." Ishida cut in "I will not have anyone in Soul Society think people on Earth dress so ill."

"Let's…not make too much haste." Ukitake stopped his monologue, and everybody hurried to change the subject, aware of Ishida's tendancy to design women's clothing very well...and to make men's garments look girlish.

* * *

"Yeah, but the ladies might now even be capable of coming. They might have killed each other by then." Zaraki grinned.

"What? Why?" now that he had their attention he told them about the little race the women were having.

"But who is this guy?" asked Kira, utterly surprised "And who will participate? I mean, there shouldn't be much…"

"Well, any woman who's single and lonely would go. That means probably any woman who received it." Renji murmured from under the table, totally drunk. "That makes….almost any woman in Soul society who's heard of it. Probably everybody."

"Not my Nanao-chan." Shunsui objected fiercely.

"Are you sure, Kyoraku-taicho?" Byakuya looked at him with a hint of laughter in his voice "As far as I know, Ise fukutaicho hasn't shown any signs of affection, and especially that she's…yours."

Shunsui started to answer, but his courage gave way when he remembered how she tried to get a day off…and how she smacked him with a fan today for almost no reason. Ok, he did try to hug her, but that was normal and…but then again there was a woman in the office today, right? He didn't remember her name right now, or even having anything to do with her, but she had upset Nanao...but his fukutaicho never payed attention to such women, it was under her.

"Oh.." was all he said.

"Anyway, what should we do?" asked Ishida "I mean….who could be behind such a thing?"

"Clearly not you." Mayuri taicho snorted "You probably don't have the money to pay for it anyway." All eyes turned automatically towards Byakuya, who just took another sip of his drink unbothered.

"It is not me." Was all he said, but since nobody seemed convinced, he just gave them a frosty look "I wouldn't decide on my romantic interests in such a childish and time-wasting way. If I felt like engaging a relationship with ANY woman, I would rather just ask her out. It wouldn't be fair towards the other women, and frankly I wouldn't humiliate myself in such a way as to propose myself as a trophy."

"Well, that doesn't leave us much choice." Ukitake taicho said, feeling a little scared. He still thought about his conversation with Nemu, and all those unsuspected emotions she had so close to the surface…what if she also decided to participate too? "What will we do then? I mean, they might fall victims to some ruthless man who just wants to toy with them."

Everybody seemed shocked, even Mayuri taicho, who rarely showed any interest in his daughter other than a tool to fight with. They all pictured the women in different horrible situations. Then Ikkaku gulped:

"I guess that it's a good thing Yachiro didn't agree to help Isane-san then."

"You don't suppose that they dragged Rukia in this too?" Byakuya frowned. When it came to Rukia, it probably wasn't too hard. "In that case I better go talk to her."

"No." Ichigo quickly cut in. Rukia was living in his home and he didn't exactly want Byakuya to realize his sister's sleeping in his closet. "She probably went to a sleepover to Orihime's-they've been doing this for some time now. She won't be back for a while."

"Nevertheless, we should come up with some sort of plan." Toushiro said as Byakuya went back to his seat "I wouldn't count on talking them out of this."

"Excuse me? How come?" Ishida asked. Toushiro smirked.

"Oh, come on. You know how women are-you tell them one thing and they'll do right the opposite. They'll jump off a cliff just to prove how stubborn they are."

"Not if we tie them up!" Shunsui exclaimed. Jushiro looked at his best friend with amazement-the 8th division taicho seemed dead serious, in contrast with his usual joking way of talking. "But no ropes, I might hurt her. Maybe lock them in a room until they come to their senses."

"I don't think that a simple door might stop lieutenant Ise from kicking your ass." Said Byakuya "But perhaps we should keep a close eye on them."

"Good idea." Everybody said.

* * *

"ICHIGO!!!" Kurosaki Isshin's voice rang through the whole clinic as Ichigo tried sneaking back in. A second later the orange head dodged one of his father's deadly kicks and stepped away before he got up again.

"What the Hell's wrong with you, old man!" Ichigo snorted

"Don't you dare give me that tone." His father got up and pointed his finger at him "Where have you been? Going out like that, returning in the middle of the night…"

"I was just out." Ichigo tried getting away, but his father crossed his path and grabbed him by the ear.

"Not a way to reply to your elders boy. Now spill it. You've been out with some pretty lady, haven't you? " Ichigo just made some annoyed sounds as his dad spun him around so he might fall on his butt. "Well? Should I be giving you the talk, boy? No? Sure you can use it properly? Did you at least check by a pharmacy before you did anything else?!"

"What? Oh, you are so perverted!" Ichigo screamed in dugust, but his father nailed him on the floor with one foot and grunted out:

"Listen you, it's my duty as your father and a doctor to instruct you in these mysterious and dangerous ways. I'm not telling you to suppress your instincts, because I'm counting on you for grandchildren, but…."

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" Ichigo screamed and kicked him off "I went to a bar with some of the taicho's from Gotei 13."

"Aha, so you've been drinking." Isshin said, a little disappointed.

"I don't have time for this, where's Rukia?"

"Didn't you know? At Soul Society. She went there for Unohana-san's birthday. She's to saty there for the summer holidays." Isshin cocked his eyebrow "If you were with the taicho's, sdidn't Kuchiki-san tell you?"

"WHAT!" Ichigo's hair stood on it's edge. A little more and it would go white "She was supposed to stay here for the summer!"

"WHAT THE HELL SHOULD SHE BE DOING HERE ANYWAY!" Isshin laughed "Soul Society is her home, her friends are there. She can't understand this era one bit. Why should she stay?" a freaky thought popped into his head "You don't mean that you and Rukia-chan…."

"Stop thinking perverted stuff up!" Ichigo hit him and ran to his room "I don't even date girls, how can you possibly suppose it!"

The door was slammed shut and Isshin rubbed his chin.

"He doesn't date girls, huh?" he mumbled and his eyes widened with horror "OH, MY SON…..!!!"

* * *

A/N-Lame, lame...oh well. Hopefully I haven't dissappointed you too much. 


	5. What did I do wrong?

**OK, another chapter, sorry for making you guys wait for so long, I'm not sure if it's even funny enough. I'm very grateful for all the reviews you're leaving me, and that you put up with my preposterous English. Anyway, thanks for the reviews.

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What did I do wrong? 

"Oi, Shunsui, what happened?!" Ukitake taicho exclaimed when he saw his friend for their weekly chat "Did a tsunami hit you?"

"I wish it was a tsunami." Kyoraku taicho grunted out as he rested back on the soft pillows in his friend's quarters. Jushiro sighed and started tending the big bruise on the 8th division taicho's head with a compassionate look. He didn't know what happened, but he was pretty certain that a woman had something to do with this. In cases such as this it was better not to mention it until he felt like speaking about it, so the two just rested back with a cup of sake and talked about casual things.

It seemed that Shunsui's problems were more serious than usual, because he had spaced out.

"Oh, man!" he exclaimed all of the sudden "Who knew Nanao could hit so hard!"

Jushiro, who was taking a sip from his sake looked stunned.

"Ise-san did this to you?"

It seemed that Shunsui had made yet another effort to win his lovely fukutaicho's heart, and was yet again turned down. The last week though, he did it more often than usual, and he was growing more and more desperate. Desperate enough to give her yet another pair of lingerie, which, of course, she didn't like, and with which she hit him on the head. It seemed that they were packed in a really heavy box.

"What did I do wrong?!" Shunsui exclaimed. Jushiro sighed-maybe this was the most appropriate time to give his friend the talk.

"Oi, Shunsui…." He began "I really think you should've been more serious."

"But I AM serious. There isn't a person more seriously in love with Nanao-chan."

"I don't mean just Ise-san. All the women you used to see…you tell them you love them and for some time you do but afterwards…"

"Are you suggesting that I'm using them?" asked Shunsui suspiciously "Jushiro, I'm a very serious person. When I love, I love only the person who deserves it, and I love her with all my heart. I never cheated on a woman and was always honest. And I don't recall hurting anyone's feeling either."

"I don't mean that." Jushiro winced, his friend's words causing much more damage than expected "But dating so many women, and telling that you love all of them is just…well, to Ise-san it must look like you're so honest every time that you never truly love. I mean….how can she know how you feel. And let's be honest, most of the women can't come even close to her. She knows it. And the fact that you're courting her the same way you did with them is….an insult to her the least. Shunsui, she's an intelligent woman. One of the most intelligent in Soul Society. If you're trying to woe her the same way you wooed the others, she might think you compare her with them. Are you sure you're not chasing after her just because she doesn't come running into your arms like the others?"

"It's not just interest, Jushiro." Kyoraku taicho sighed "If it was, I would've gotten over it in a month or two and moved on. No matter what Nanao-chan thinks, I wouldn't go after her just for the sport. But she's so…different. So intelligent and independent and smart and beautiful. And really attractive, even if you don't believe me. Like you said, no other woman can come near her…but I don't know what I'm doing wrong."

"You just can't communicate on her level, that's what." Jushiro patted his back. He knew how he felt.

All week had been hard for the male inhabitants of Soul Society. Women were excited about the race and the men were irritated. Disputes arose from every little thing. Even women with boyfriends entered the race "to help a friend", but their boyfriends weren't that stupid. The infamous question "Do you really love me?" became frequent and it became harder to answer it.

Jushiro was certain Nemu had signed in, and that she was angry at him. Why did he know that? Because she was avoiding him deliberately. She didn't show on the captain and vice captain meetings, in operations with the 12th squad she always found herself an excuse to stay at the lab. When he couldn't stop worrying he tried to run into her deliberately, but every time he picked on one of her routes she, like she noticed him on a radar, changed her direction. Women's intuition was what they called it. And even though Jushiro wanted to run after her, he didn't understand why. And she would definitely ask him why. There was just no way she wouldn't.

* * *

In the living world things weren't any better. Orihime and Rukia went to Soul Society through the gate in Urahara's store and without telling him their real purpose to go into Soul Society. Not that he asked-Yoruichi was gone somewhere again and his good friend Kurosaki Isshin was really concerned about something and desperately needed to talk to him.

"It's terrible!" he said when the two were finally alone in the small living room in Urahara's store. The former 12th division captain looked at his friend under his infamous hat and cocked his eyebrow.

"My son, Urahara, my very own SON!" Isshin was going on the same thing for five minutes in a row. "He told me he doesn't even date and his grades in school are one of the highest! Do you REALIZE what this means?"

"That your son is a responsible and smart boy who looks after his scholar success?"

"NO! Oh, Urahara, what am I to do?! How will I have grandchildren if my son doesn't even like girls!"

"He didn't say he didn't like girls. Plus, Ichigo's a gentleman; he wouldn't take advantage of some girl just because his hormones are kicking in." Urahara said "Come on, shouldn't you be happy he's not getting involved in dangerous and unhealthy relationships?"

"How is he to have children if he doesn't even have sex? And forget about that, he has time-if he's not interested in girls he wouldn't even think about me! I need a grandpa status, Urahara!"

"You have two daughters, they'll give you plenty of grandchildren…" Urahara avoided Isshin's death glare "…in due time of course."

"Don't get me started." Isshin growled, the idea of Karin actually marrying a man too impossible to accept. "All Karin thinks is about football, and Yuzu…I don't think she'll stand the idea of leaving me to myself…anyway, it's Ichigo I'm concerned about. If he doesn't have children who is to carry out my name, Urahara? And he's my son-of course I'd be worried."

"But come now, you just might have misunderstood him." Urahara said "Maybe he has a relationship but is too shy to introduce her to you guys…or his friends. Maybe she's really special, he loves her really much and he just doesn't know how to deal with such a special relationship in such a young age. You yourself loved your wife with all your heart and even now you don't take interest in others."

"But Ichigo's a teenager. Teenagers are supposed to chase after everything with a skirt 24/7. And that's not all!" Isshin pulled a bag out and tossed it's continence on the table. "Look what I found in his closet. It was under the spare sheets!" he squeaked, careful not to touch it.

Urahara took one of the magazines and opened it curiously. First he was wondering what that was, then he laughed cheerfully, and then the full realization of what he held hit him as he tossed it aside with a mixture of horror and worry.

"Oh.." he managed out, discreetly wiping his hand in his robe "Now this is disturbing."

"Disturbing? MY son reads shonen-ai!!! This is disastrous!!!" Isshin screamed at the top of his lungs, unaware of the real circumstances. The magazine was Rukia's, one of the few she used to learn modern Japanese from. Since she couldn't really make out the pictures or understand the whole thing, she wasn't to be blamed. She didn't even bother hiding them and that was how Isshing found them. As soon as Ichigo left for school he went to investigate his room to find any proof that would disprove his theory.

* * *

Urahara kept on trying to defend Ichigo's pride, and in meanwhile Kira and Hitsugaya taicho went to see how Ichigo and Ishida had come up with the plan to help the girls. They all agreed that they had to keep a close eye on them…the question was how.

"There is of course the opportunity….to take advantage of my rare talent." Ishida said at last. Ichigo and Hitsugaya looked too shocked to ask, but Kira was too overwhelmed by worry over Hinamori and begged him to continue.

"Well…." Ishida smirked, obviously very proud of himself "It we get a team in disguise in the race, it would be really easy to keep an eye on them."

"In…disguise…" Hitsugaya drawled "You don't mean…"

"Oh, yes." Ishida said "But not more than two people, mind. It would raise suspicion and it's a hard thing turning a man into an attractive woman in such a short time."

"I doubt that there will be enough volunteers even for one team…" Ichigo murmured, completely embarrassed. Only Ishida could say such a thing without even blinking. "I'm afraid we should drop the idea, should you be the only one left wearing your creation."

"I'll do it." Kira said, shocking Hitsuagaya taicho almost to death. Kira looked at him with solid determination "If it's for Hinamori-kun, I'll do anything."

"It's your choice to make." Hitsugaya murmured, pretty sure that he wouldn't do something as reckless as this. There were better ways to look after Matsumoto and he already had one in mind.

* * *

And what about Isane? She spent the greater part of the week looking for a partner and finally talked captain Unohana to help her. The 4th division taicho was very insecure, leaving her work didn't seem proper…but what would a couple of days do and it was in favor of a friend. Isane needed somebody and Unohana taicho didn't really care about relationships. It seemed perfect.

But Unohana taicho didn't see a point in not telling anyone and that put the rest of the men in Soul Society (the very little who didn't have a clue about this) on their guard. And soon Ichigo wasn't the only one devising a plan.

* * *

So, the big day came and all the participants gathered in a field outside Rokungai, near the forest. It was almost like Woodstock, the only difference being that there were only women. Well, women visible. The men who had decided to come after their girlfriends were staying hidden.

There sure were plenty of women there. Staying in small groups, wearing colorful scarves that marked their team or other signs to prove what good friends they are. They all looked differently, because of the different ways they interpreted the challenge. Everybody depended on the factor that they thought was winning-some on their modesty, some on their looks, some on their physical skills or perfection, some on their high reiatsu energy, etc, etc…Very little were there "to support a friend". It was obvious. Matsumoto was avoiding Nanao's look, who was too shocked to see her friend with Hinamori there. Nanao and Nemu were both practically dressed, wearing light gear and clothes suited for running and climbing (in short the basics for survival). Unohana taicho and Isane hadn't changed the way they looked, they wore their hakamas and shirts, but the 4th division captain had removed the long white robe that identified her status. In contrast with them were Matsumoto and Hinamori, who both thought that Toushiro's final judgment depended on their looks-they wore make-up and different additions to their daily uniforms. Rukia and Orihime were standing in the back, looking invisible. From a comfortable distance from them stood two very beautiful blonds, with long legs and killer figures, dressed in very fancy (maybe too fancy) dresses.

"Ne, Ishida-kun…" Kira managed out "Don't you think that the high heels were so necessary?"

"It's natural that women would try to look their best to look attractive." Ishida said, eyeing Orihime with her humble clothes and thought that if he got the chance, would give them a furrow make-over. "We'll ditch them when we get the chance."

It was so noisy you could barely hear the voice of the person next to you. Suddenly though, everybody was silenced by a man coming out of the forest.

* * *

A/N-Hmm, not a very interesting chapter, I'll try to get some action going in the next one. Preparations, preparations. I wouldn't mind some advice, that's what I'm writing here for. Critics are welcome too, I don't bite...much. 


	6. The race begins

**Well, this was totally unexpected. Again, I thank you all for your patience, and reviews, and...well, pretyy much what I said on the previous pages. Enjoy.

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The race begins 

The guy that stood before them had to have nerves of steel, as he took on him the glances of all the women (and a great deal of the men) of Soul Society. Of course he wasn't the mystery man, that was sure. He had white hair and walked with a cane-he had the looks of a butler, but that didn't really matter to the ladies since it was obvious-the most handsome man in the afterlife wouldn't show himself but for the woman that won the race.

"_AND IT WILL BE ME!" _were most of the thoughts that came across the women's heads.

The butler stepped closer so everyone could hear him.

"Dear ladies…" he began with a strong British accent. "Allow me to welcome you to this challenge." A short speech followed, extolling the beauty, strength and power of the women. "Allow me to tell you exactly what is this about. Each team must go through a number of obstacles before they reach the final stage-my master's chateau, where he will determine the lucky winner. Each team will receive a emerald pendant, and envelopes containing a map of the route and instructions how to get to the next clue that will lead you to the final stage."

Some guys appeared out of nowhere, carrying the pendants mentioned, and gave one to each team. "You will stay together until it is said that you must go on." The butler continued "And the pendant is important, so be careful not to lose it. Now I wish you good luck, and let the race begin!"

* * *

It was the fiasco of the century-normally, no person with a good head on his shoulders wouldn't go into the forests unprepared. But now not only that the women went, they stormed in like a colorful tornado, scaring the birds and waking up almost every predator there. A few minutes later the men showed up, some of them went in after them, some of them looked for the butler. But he was gone.

The first fifteen minutes of it were havoc-everybody was trying to outrun somebody, screams were heard as some of the more ruthless competitors were working their way over the competition. Thankfully most of the captains hadn't been in the forest, preventing some of the graver…incidents.

After the first few minutes though at least a half of the teams were stopped by the various plant and animal life of the forest, or gave up because their boyfriends outran them and brought roses and chocolates. However, some went on despite the various obstacles.

Ishida and Kira kept a safe distance from Matsumoto and Hinamori, trying to stay alive-it was pretty hard with all the lace and ribbons and stuff on the dresses, and they constantly had to keep their wigs and breasts from falling. It would have been different if they only could shorten their skirts, but Ishida didn't let Kira destroy his perfect creation. It was amazing how they still saw Matsumoto and Hinamori running in front of them.

Maybe the only ones who weren't rushing to the finish line were Nanao and Nemu. Since they weren't doing that because of the prize, but because of the experience, they saw no need to hurry. Nanao, the realist she was, calculated their chances of winning and thought it impossible. So the two were spending their time in a more useful way.

"This is weird." Jushiro said as he and Shunsui watched them from the higher branches of a tree "One would think they would be running as if their lives depended on it."

The two lieutenants were currently busying themselves in cutting some women free from the grip of a really strong vine-like plant. Nanao and Nemu took their time, careful not to hurt anyone. The 12th division fukutaicho was also trying to memorize the plant to add it to the research records of her division.

"Isn't it amazing?" she turned to Nanao "We haven't been in this race for 30 minutes and we already discovered more lethal plant species and animals than ever suspected. I believe Mayuri-sama will be pleased with this."

"Yes, indeed." Murmured Nanao under her breath. Those women were all in shock, too obsessed with what was happening to remember why did they come here in the first place. Maybe she had to help them out of the forest, or maybe there was a way to send them back to Rokungai through a portal. Which was more convenient?

So the two were too busy to notice the approach of something. Something big, something dangerous. Actually, even Jushiro and Shunsui didn't realize it's coming, before it hit the ground.

Nemu and Nanao snapped up to see the giant spider that was walking towards them. The two captains over their heads were ready to jump at their aid, but they were stopped as Nemu pulled her katana out and lunged at the spider. In the same time Nanao fired a reiatsu spell and the combined attacks…. Was pretty impressive, the least.

"My, this was great." Jushiro sighed in praise as he sheathed his Soul Slayer and watched Nemu finish it off.

"As expected of my Nanao-chan." Shunsui nodded "They must've done extra training together to make up special attacks, just for the two of them. I'd say they did a pretty good job."

"A VERY good job." Nodded Jushiro, watching them freeing the rest of the women. Nanao pulled out a bottle of medicine for Nemu's wounds. The 12th division fukutaicho refused it, saying she didn't need it, but Nanao insisted.

"It's dangerous to walk around with open wounds." She said, making Nemu sit down so she could tend the injuries "You better learn to value your life, Nemu-san."

"But what difference does it make? My presence is hardly noticed now and there will be no difference."

"You are saying ridiculous things." Nanao titled her head. "What about your friends, your loved ones….even your father would miss you…in his own way. You're not only valuable as a bait in fights, you are a truly beautiful person and I'm not just saying it because I'm your friend."

"I'm curious, Ise-san…does the wish to die come out so unexpectedly or it shows after a certain event?" Nemu looked away "For some reason after I talked to captain Ukitake I feel like dying all the time."

"Well…" Nanao looked at her friend compassionately "I know it's hard for you, but maybe captain Ukitake just doesn't realize how important you are yet. But…this isn't a reason for dying. What's more, you have potential, you can win him over. Now how about sening those women home and go on?"

* * *

Shunsui looked at his friend. Jushiro was hiding his face, but he definitely wasn't indifferent of what was happening down there.

"Shunsui…I understand now….how hard it is to you to confess your true feelings for Ise-san." He said

"Don't run down after them." Kyoraku taicho advised his friend "You're too excited and things may get worse. Let's go ahead of them, maybe there are more troublesome spiders like that and Nanao-chan may not be carrying enough medicine."

* * *

"These guys are after us." Said Hinamori, referring to Ishida and Kira. "Maybe we should try to lose them."

"Nah…" Matsumoto had noticed them too. Their reiatsu seemed familiar, but Ishida had done his job good-she couldn't recognize them, not unless they bumped into her. "I'd say those two are smart enough to follow us. Maybe we can ditch them later, but let's not try anything too hasty."

"They're making me nervous."

"Then think about something else." Matsumoto pouted. Hinamori was a sweet girl, bit naïve, too naïve. And childish! How could Histugaya see anything in her?

"Matsumoto…" Hinamori started "Understand that I'm doing this because Hitsugaya taicho wants it."

"What?" Matsumoto raised an eyebrow.

"Hitsugaya needs to know who's best, but it's clear to both of us, isn't it. He just wants to understand how good I am. So I hope you don't have any hard feelings about this."

"Huh?" now she was angry, really angry. How could that little…oh, she didn't know what to call her yet. How could she dare say such things? Who was she to read her taicho's mind? Like she knew him. If she knew him THAT well why didn't he just chose her than to go over all this trouble?

"Oh yeah!" Matsumoto decided to strike while the iron was still hot "Well in that case I suppose that could be said about all those women that participate in the race, cause as far as I know taicho, he wouldn't involve all those women in this. After all, he wouldn't want all Seritei to know about your big passionate and romantic love story. And considering the competition.." Matsumoto winked in the direction of Kira and Ishida "Taicho's worries aren't limited with the both of us."

"Well…Toushiro-kun wouldn't do that, it's not honorable at all. He wouldn't want to trick anyone."

"But if your theory is correct, then taicho must be totally different."

"Toushiro-kun is not like that. He doesn't want to cheat anyone."

"Yeah, just me." Matsumoto narrowed her eyes "Who am I but his simple lieutenant-I am a good sacrifice to make so he could confess his love to you."

"I didn't say that!"

"You just implied it! And let me tell you that I wouldn't have agreed to this if I didn't know I had a chance of winning."

"You're so persistent. What makes you think that Thoushiro-kun likes women who drink themselves unconscious and sleep with whomever they run into?"

"Oh yeah?! Well what makes you think he likes girls who always hide behind the backs of others and can't even admit they're wrong?"

"You talk about love conquests and drinking contest as if it's something worthy of praise! You just like making Toushiro-kun embarrassed."

"Grow up! You can't tell whether he likes me or not, admit it! We'll just have to get to the finish and find out."

"Fine!"

"FINE!"

* * *

On a big hill stood Urahara and Isshin, looking at the racers with growing concern. Unlike everyone else, the had only one thought in mind, to find Ichigo and understand what was wrong with him. But now, seeing the situation, their thoughts were changing.

"A race to win a man's heart? Now this is rather weird."

"Urahara, do you think my son is participating?"

"Nah, it's for women only. Didn't you see him-he was going with Kuchiki Byakuya in the forest. I bet Rukia's the one participation and he went after her to make sure she's alright."

"Do you really think so?"

"I guess. There are plenty of guys that went after their girlfriends, Ichigo can't be different."

"But look-there are Ishida and Kira-dressed like women!!!"

"Mhm…talk about giving bad example. Though you can't say they're not trying-some men do impossible things to gain a woman's heart. Think about Kyoraku taicho per instance."

"This is very weird. We must absolutely help these boys!"

"I thought we came here to look after Ichigo."

"Now it's different. It's our duty to help all these poor, misguided boys! Are you with me?!"

And without waiting for an answer he flashed out.

Urahara shrugged.

"This will be fun."

* * *

A/N-Well, I guess it's not exactly what you'd call hilarious...hmm, review please. 


	7. Challenge of the lake

**As usual I don't own the original characters and stuff.**

**Thanks again for all your reviews, I hope you like this one.

* * *

**

Challenge of the lake 

Thanks to some serious convincing (that had no effect at all), and some serious fighting (whose effect was even less), Ikkaku, Yumichika and Zaraki were walking through the forest with Yachiro stuck to her captains shoulders as if her life depended on it. Why? Because when Zaraki told them about the men's plan to follow after the women in the race to get them back (and probably have a nice little chat with that pretty boy who dared take them away), Yachiro had insisted on coming along.

Zaraki tried to explain her that it was a man's job, and that she had to stay in the barracks. However, Yachiro started crying again and the whole "beat-yourself-to-death" thing was repeated. When it was over there were scarcely any chairs standing, Ikkaku and Yumichika had gained some more bruises…and Yachiro was still coming. At last Zaraki gave up and told her that if she started complaining, he'd leave her in the forest to look after herself.

But now he understood it wasn't Yachiro the one who had to be told that.

"Why are we doing this again?! This forest is too humid and this sun isn't good for my beautiful skin. What am I going to do if anyone sees me? What is to become of me after this?" Yumichika wined in a high pitch voice that scared some birds away. "Why must we follow after those women if you've got me? Just look, taicho, aren't I the handsomest thing ever? Why chase after those airily creatures women are when I will be forever the same beautiful object to look at?"

"Will you shut up!" Zaraki growled

"Yeah!" Ikkaku joined "You can't replace a real woman, idiot, you don't even have what it takes."

"Like what?" Yumichika looked at him with honest astonishment and Ikkaku, honestly mortified, slowly realized what he had done. "Tell me, Ikkaku, please, so I can know."

"Ne, Ken-chan…." Yachiro said "Aren't you going to help Peacock-brow and Q-ball?"

"With what?" Zaraki smirked "I told it clearly-if anyone falls behind he's on his own. They should've listened."

* * *

Byakuya and Ichigo went after Rukia and Orihime, as Ishida and Kira went after Hinamori and Matsumoto. It was a big challenge for both of them, having in mind that they hated each-other from the bottom of their hearts. However, the mutual goal (via to save Rukia from any trouble), made them set aside their differences….

Huh, nice dream.

"Watch where you're going!" Ichigo yelled when the nobleman accidentally stepped on his robe.

"I wouldn't be so loud if I were you. Rukia will notice us." Baykuya replied calmly, trying to take lead but Ichigo intercepted him. "It's no use if you get us lost, Kurosaki." Said the nobleman with a sigh.

"What do you know, you haven't been closer to a forest than in a movie theater."

"What is a movie theater?" Byakuya asked perplexed and Ichigo decided it was not the time for Living World terms class. Instead he moved on, leaving Baykuya a little unsettled.

"Kurosaki…" he said after a few more minutes "You do realize this is no longer a little walk to put some reason into Rukia's head, don't you?"

"What?" Of course it was about putting…beating some reason into Rukia's head, but Ichigo was smart enough to stay quiet. Byakuya had something on his mind.

"This forest has never been so populated, but I have never seen so many beasts and dangerous plants out at once. There are places in this forest and people between the competitors who represent a threat. This is no longer a race-this whole environment is a death trap. And we must concentrate on saving as much of our fellow shinigami as we can. Do you understand?"

"I…I think."

"When we find Rukia I want you to make sure she arrives safely to Kuchiki manor. I will stay here and take care of some less fortunate people….the ones who don't have anyone looking after them." He explained to Ichigo who still seemed as clueless as usual.

Byakuya often wondered why on Earth Rukia chose, of all the men in the world of the living and the ones in the afterlife, this one to bestow on him her affections. Yes, she had a really rotten choice of acquaintances, having Renji as her best friend, but at least he was ambitious and determined to go on ahead, to get out of the dirt; he had pride, in some sort of way.

There were plenty of young, handsome men in Seiritai; there were some who's looks played bad tricks on them but still had beauties of character and family; and there were some who had both. So why did Rukia decide to fall in love with that uncivilized monkey was beyond Byakuya's understanding.

He would have settled the question by beheading him on spot but it was below him to force his opinion on his sister; and Ichigo had more to him than it seemed. If there was a single trait in his character that Byakuya give him credit about was his stubbornness…his wish to protect. That's why he felt safe to leave Rukia at his care…for a while.

Besides, he was curious if a certain person had also entered the race. If not, he would do as he planned and help as much poor, helpless folls as he could. If yes, there was an interesting opportunity ahead of him.

* * *

Rukia and Orihime arrived at the lake the same time as Matsumoto and Hinamori did. It was a very big lake, surrounding an island with a high mountain. There were lights on its summit-probably where they had to go.

Before them were a dozen boats with pink envelopes in them. Orihime walked up to the nearest and opened the letter curiously, and meanwhile Matsumoto and Hinamori, who obviously were totally into it, hopped into another and started rolling towards the island.

"Why are they in such a hurry?" asked Rukia, who up until that moment had constantly looked for (and failed to notice) any traps.

"If they paused to read this maybe they would've waited a little." Orihime said and handed Rukia the paper. It simply said that they had to get to the island for their next clue but it also said that they had to be very careful with their choice of boats, as six of them were not meant to float. Rukia didn't understand that until she and Inoue were out at sea…lake.

They rowed the boat, when they felt something wet touch their feet. They looked down to see the floor covered in water-their boat was leaking.

"AH! What should we do?!" Orihime panicked. Rukia remembered, a little late, that the red-head probably couldn't swim.

Rukia looked around. The other boats were out in the lake, but the chance of getting help was minimal. Matsumoto and Hinamori were already at the island, and even if Nanao and Nemu noticed them, they wouldn't be able to do anything for them. There was to option of swimming to shore dragging Inoue with her, but having in mind that Rukia wasn't a very good swimmer herself, that was out of the question.

"Oh, I know!" Orihime squeaked "Let's call upon the magic fairies for help!"

"Magic fairies?" Rukia looked puzzled. "What magic fairies?"

"You know, the little pixies who help the fairies of Alfea in their quests? Don't you watch Winx club?"

"Um…no."

"Oh, well! Let's give it a try, huh? But which one should we call? Oh, I know. Let's call the one that helps Musa a lot, I like Musa. And I bet she might be able to spare her, since she and Riven finally got together."

Orihime stood on top of the boat, which to Rukia's silent horror was sinking very slowly, as if Orihime could embarrass herself in piece so they could die from terrible, ridiculous and stupid death before they even reached the water.

Orihime made a fancy posture and raised her hands in the air…and then froze.

"Oh, no, how were the magic words again?" screamed Orihime in terror as they were about to get swollen by the lake.

And then, in a blur of dark muslin and black the two were flashed away, Ishida and Ichigo carrying them away on shore. But in the middle of the flash they fell in the water.

"HEEELP!" Orihime and Ishida screamed in union "We can't swim!"

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" Ichigo grunted out as Rukia grabbed Ishida by the collar and Ichigo wrapped a free arm around Inoue. The four struggled to shore, Ichigo holding both Orihime and Rukia's hand. Ishida quickly came out of the shock, caused by the cold water, and relieved Ichigo in the middle of their route.

* * *

At long last they were on shore, a little too far from the other boats and too far for anyone to see them. Rukia was gasping for air, kneeling on the ground. Ichigo gave her a few powerful pats on the back so she could spit all the water she swallowed. Orihime had fainted, but Ishida was taking care of her, so they didn't have to worry about her.

"ICHIGOOOO!!!" His father boomed in his ears, causing him and Rukia to jump two meters in the air and land on their buts on the ground…well, Ichigo did, Rukia ended up on his lap. Inoue and Ishida, surprisingly, were ignorant of all the commotion.

"Old man! What are you doing here?" asked Ichigo, completely forgotten about the position he was standing in.

"Hello!" Urahara greeted cheerfully, but not as loudly "We came here for a stroll, to see what you kids were up to. I see you're doing fine, yes?"

"Wha…AAAH!" Rukia and Ichigo separated with a loud scream and dashed five meters away from each other.

"Now what was THAT all about?" Isshin grunted his teeth, and meanwhile Orihime finally gained consciousness.

* * *

"Ishida…kun?" She rubbed her eyes to make sure she was OK, then pinched her arm just in case. Had she been transported in the land of fairy tales like in her dreams? Or she was just sleeping?

"Orihime-san, are you feeling better?" Ishida asked politely, realizing the condition of his wig was pretty bad.

"Is it….really you?"

"Um...yeah."

"Oh…how…" Orihime gulped. This was not a dream? She was still living, in Ishida's arms, saved from a horrible and slow death…Ishida, who looked like Kyoya from "Ouran Hih School host club" episode 9. Wig and tits to complete the set.

"Oh, I'm so horrible!" Orihime screamed "Did…did I do this? Oh, I must've said the wrong magic words when you were coming to help us and the fairies must've turned you into a woman! Oh, I'm so sorry, I will fix it! Even if I don't manage to call the fairies again, I'm sure there are ways…I'll pay for plastic surgery, I'll look after you as you recover and I'll make sure nobody makes fun of you if it doesn't work out after all!"

"No, Orihime san…" Ishida swallowed "It's not your fault…."

"Don't worry for me, I can take on bullies even without my powers! You should see me, I can grow claws! I'll be like Hally Berry in Cat Woman! I…"

"INOUE-SAN!" Ishida chased away the thought of Orihime in a tight lather suit and cat mask clawing away anybody who dared to hurt him. A pretty hard thing to do-it even had a whip included "It's not your fault!" he explained and unbuttoned the top of his dress to show her the pads she took for breasts

"It's a disguise." He explained.

"Wow…" Inoue's eyes grew as big as dinner plates "I always knew you were a master, Ishida kun, but this is an absolute masterpiece!"

"Yes, well…" Ishida blushed in a cute way while Isshin was yelling at his son.

* * *

"HOW COULD YOU BE SO STUPID AS TO FALL IN THE WATER!!!!" he was going on before Ichigo hit him on the head and made him stop.

"Cut that out!" he grunted out and took Rukia's hand "Let's go, your brother wants you to safety."

"What….nii-sama's here? Where?" Rukia turned around.

"He went on. We think there's something wrong with this race, so he wanted to make sure there aren't any more women hurt."

"That's what Orihime and I thought!" Rukia exclaimed "We came here to investigate!"

"Well your investigation almost caused you your lives. Now come on, we need to dry up."

"WAIT!" Isshin stopped them.

"You're getting in the way, old man!" Ichigo screamed as Ishida and Orihime joined them. "What do you want."

"Given the circumstances I will accept neither of you is gay, but since you let yourselves jeopardize these two beautiful girls you must suffer punishment."

"Yes, that's true…" Ishida became pensive, as Ichigo screamed _"GAY?!!!"_ , but the Quincy didn't pay any attention "We did put Rukia and Orihime in danger."

"That's right!" Isshin grinned ear to ear and pointed his finger at Ichigo "So now, as your father, Ichigo, I order you to take Rukia to some safe spot where you'll make out until I say you can stop!"

"Wait a minute…." Ichigo began, but was cut off by Rukia.

"Um, Ichigo, maybe we should just do as he says…"

"No way in hell! What are you thinking you old perverted geezer?! I'm not going to go and kiss Rukia just because you told me to! What self-respecting guy would do that!"

"I'm your father and I want only the best for you." He seemed like he was about to cry "Why can't you understand that?"

Ishida turned to Orihime, blushing like a tomato, and took her hand.

"O…Orihime-san…I know this is a little sudden…but I think we should do what we're told."

"OK." Orihime nodded since she was well behaved and never thought about contradicting an older person. "But…Ishida kun…Do you think we can change clothes, because it's a little…disturbing."

Since Orihime wore a Shinigami outfit, the two went to some nearby bushes to change, while Ichigo, dumbfound, listened to his father's arguments. At last he said:

"WHY THE HELL SHOULD I WANT TO DO IT, HUH? I don't…I CAN'T!!!"

"Why?"

"Ichigo…" Rukia started, a vein popping on her forehead "Why now?"

"Because…just because!"

"Oh, GOD DAMN IT!" Rukia busted out, scaring the little remaining animals in the proximity and glared at Ichigo "Why, of all men I had to fall for you?! Well, you might as well go find Mizuiro and tell him you're joining the club! If you don't want to kiss me so much, go find whoever you CAN kiss!"

She reached out to slap him, but he stopped her hand.

"Now you just hold on a sec…." Ichigo glared at her "I'm not letting you start the same thing as my crazy old man. You want a kiss? Well, you can have it!"

* * *

A/N-Sorry to cut off in the middle of something, but this got too big. And I need to collect my ideas. So what do you think? See ya! 


	8. Figuring you out

**Ok. So, thanks again for all the reviews, I really liked your suggestions and as you can see I put them in use. I hope it doesn't dissappoint you. Special thanks to darkangel1940 for the idea. Enjoy.

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Figuring you out 

"_Why am I punished with this."_ Ichigo thought as he looked at Rukia. Then he sighed and pulled her aside. Kissing was supposed to be done in private after all. They sat in the shade of a big tree face to face. He hoped that his perverted Dad didn't follow them to look on, it was embarrassing enough the way it was.

Ichigo turned to Rukia, who was sitting, looking all so expectant, her hands crossed in front of her chest. Now what was he supposed to do?

"Here I come." He warned and leaned forward, his palms on her shoulders. "Close your eyes, Ok?" She did as said and hopefully wasn't peeking, because she would see her beloved Ichigo blush like a schoolgirl.

"_Come on, man, do it already."_ He told himself. _"How hard can it be? Just press your lips to hers and get it over with."_

"COME ON ALREADY!" Isshin screamed.

"HOW CAN YOU EVEN TELL? YOU'RE NOT HIDING HERE, ARE YOU?!" Ichigo screamed.

"HELL, YOU IDIOT, LIKE I CAN'T TELL. THAT QUINCY AND INOUE HAVE ALREADY GOTTEN TO THE INTERESTING PART! ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS LISTEN!"

Ichigo growled and threw a rock that surprisingly hit Isshin on the head and then turned to Rukia.

"Look, if you don't want to do it…" Rukia began, but he was already too busy kissing her fervently. At first she was surprised, but then she responded to him in a way…a way she wouldn't have attempted if she knew a certain somebody was watching.

* * *

Byakuya narrowed his eyes maliciously and grabbed his zanpakuto's hilt, intending to cut the crap out of that insolent ryoka when he heard a faint voice calling him. He turned around surprised before he realized who was talking. 

"_It's not a good idea, Byakuya."_ Senbonzakura said calmly _"It' won't do anybody good."_

"It's none of your business." He replied, still stunned. His katana hadn't spoken to him since Hisana's death. Or maybe it had, but he never heard it.

"_It's not about rules, Byakuya. You made a promise to your wife to assure Rukia-chan's happiness, that means to let her choose the path she takes."_

"Even if it's wrong?"

"_You know better than me. You broke the rules by accepting Hisana into your clan but that made you happy, right? If she likes this Ichigo person let her have him. The boy's not a scoundrel at least."_

"No, I suppose not."

"_He's a good kisser at least." _Senbonzakura snickered _"Let them be. Besides, with that boy's power he just might end up beating you instead."_

"Don't remind me." Byakuya frowned "He's still insolent."

"_Insolent, stupid, loud, disrespectful, it's what Rukia chose. Plus, you are indebted to him-if he hadn't cut in you would've never managed the bounto and arrarcan. And he saved her from execution, AND spared you the trouble of lamenting all night long. You didn't have to chose between promises to break because of him. Now let those two be, I sense a familiar reiatsu nearby."_

Byakuya nodded and turned to the lake, giving Ichigo and Rukia one last look-Isshin was telling them to stop holding back and Ichigo was screaming at him.

"I'm NOT going to have a lousy-kissing son, got that!" and that's how Isshin earned another hit on the head before the two got back to their previous occupation. Byakuya rolled his eyes and shunpu-ed out of there.

And on the little clearing where Ishida and Orihime were suffering their "punishment", a small emerald necklace slipped off the girl's neck and fell down. The couple, too busy making-out didn't notice it, and neither that it burned a hole in the ground where it lay.

* * *

Unohana taicho didn't need a boat to cross the lake as she and Isane could use her zanpakuto's powers to go over. 

"Oh, taicho, this is wonderful!" Isane said "We can go through the whole race like this."

"Don't get too comfortable." Unohana taicho scolded her "It is just to pass the lake-it wouldn't be fair towards the other contestants to use bankai in order to win."

"Oh, taicho…" Isane sighed as she pointed below, where two girls, former best friends, were pulling their hair in order to push one off the leaking boat. Apparently even broken ones could go if there was only one person in them. "I don't really think this race is much fair."

"That doesn't mean that we should act like them." Unohana taicho said as she made her zanpakuto lower himself closer to the water to pick up the loser, while the winner was victoriously rowed to shore. "It's sad enough the way it is."

Indeed, after the whole thing was over half of Seiretei was going to need professional therapists.

* * *

Nanao and Nemu reached shore in a leaking boat, but miraculously unharmed. The cause of it? Well, because Jushiro and Shunsui put hollow bamboo stems in the holes so they could swim under the boat and breathe. The two women didn't notice a thing and they went on the island without suspecting a thing. 

So they were there, along with seven other teams and some more men. When they were out of sight Shunsui and Jushiro got out of the water.

"Yare, this was some swim, huh, Ju-kun?" Shunsui laughed as he dried his infamous flamboyant haori before slapping it back on his shoulders.

"Yeah, wasn't it." Jushiro nodded and went after the women, without noticing he left his sword on the ground. Shunsui picked it up with a sigh-those symptoms were well known.

* * *

Hitsugaya helped Kira out of the water before the two could go any further. Toushiro lost site of the other men, but he was pretty sure Hisagi, Kuchiki taicho Kyoraku taicho and Ukitake taicho were on the island, since he could sense their reiatsus. However, he was too tired to locate them and concentrated on Matsumoto and Hinamori's tracks. 

Now those weren't so hard to find. And it seemed Matsumoto was very angry for some reason. Nevertheless, Hitsugaya was calm enough to wait for Kira to dry off his dress before they went any further-no matter how angry was Matsumoto she wouldn't let Hinamori get hurt.

Toushiro sighed, melancholy, anger, and a long forgotten wishes mixing in his soul. Melancholy, because he remembered his old childhood friend, the "older-sister" fondness she had for him and the way she was always giving her best to give him a good example. Anger, because of the woman Aizen turned her into, a woman he hardly knew, a woman that revolted him and that he couldn't turn his back to because, nevertheless, she was Hinamori. Hinamori Momo…when she laid in a coma, for months his only desire was that she got better and that when she woke up, she'd be the same happy, loving and protective girl he knew and that all traces of Aizen's influence would be gone like a bad dream. He wished, he prayed, but quietly, deep in his heart. And now, that despite everybody's hard efforts to help the 5th division fukutaicho to help her out, she still lived in some semi-conscious condition, half way in some dreamland where Aizen was ill-used, un-comprehended knight in shining armor.

Hitsugaya taicho didn't show it, but he was deeply hurt by that. He wished that she would fully wake up and how many people waited for her-peope who cared for her, people who loved her. Not that she wasn't trying, but the fantasy was just too good to let go and maybe she would never get over it.

The bare thought of it was killing Toushiro. And maybe the only person who knew it was Matsumoto….That's why, no matter how much Hinamori irritated her, she would never let her suffer.

* * *

Byakuya ran into Hisagi who was (with very little success), searching for Isane. The sixth division captain helped him locate the 4th division taicho and fukutaicho, who, along with Matsumoto, Hinamori, Nanao and Nemu and all the other women on the island had just discovered their next clue. They were to split up. 

So the moment had come for the men to get really worried, as the true race was just beginning. Isane and Unohana had just finished reading the pink, sweet scented paper before they heard somebody running, angry screams and sounds like somebody hitting somebody else on the head.

The two women ran in the direction of the commotion to see two women fighting. They were clearly from one team, but now they were on their own….trying to kill each other.

A dreadful pink scrap of paper hit Isane's legs and she lifted it up. It was the same as theirs, scent and golden hieroglyphs and all, but it also had a fine print, something Unohana taicho had forgot to read to her.

"Only a person wearing an emerald necklace will be accepted to the final stage."

If that was a normal, fair game, it was obvious that the two women of the team should agree on who will go on and settle things like ownership of a necklace in a civilized way. However, there was more than one way to get the precious jewel, and right now one of the shinigami was putting it to use.

While Isane was busying herself with reading Unohana taicho dashed forward, determined to separate the two crazy women and give them a piece of her mind. However, they were so busy, one strangling her mate, the other keeping herself from being strangled, that they didn't notice the superior officer.

That, aside from being a great display of disrespect, was also very dangerous as there were pools of quick sand at every step, making the whole forest like some giant moor, as well as poisonous snakes. Isane, who really wanted to go on, couldn't deny her duty as a fukutaicho and dashed forward in order to help her captain. The two got tangled in the fight, pulling the two shinigami apart without hurting them. The one being strangled had almost lost consciousness, and the other one was blind with rage. A strong pull from both Retsu and Isane was enough to separate them, but it tossed the fukutaicho, along with the fainted shinigami, straight into a tree.

The 4th division second seat took most of the impact on herself, and hit her head hard against the stump, before dragging down on the cold earth, her arms wrapped around her care. Unohana wanted desperately to help her lieutenant, but as she had also been caught off guard with that sudden separation, she had taken a few steps back and ended up in one of the quick sand pools. The only one left was the raging shinigami, who didn't seem to care at all for what happened around her-she just wanted the necklace.

In that moment Hisagi and Byakuya arrived and started putting things into order. With one well placed hit Hisagi made the woman faint and laid her down carefully on the ground and turned to Isane.

Byakuya pulled Senbonzakura out of his obi and offered the sword to Unohana taicho to help her getting out. The forth division captain didn't waste her time on idle talk and accepted the offered help. Half way out she noticed….

"Snake! Kuchiki taicho, look out!"

Byakuya pulled Unohana taicho out, pulling Senbonzakura out of its scabbard, and slashing the branch where the reptile was standing, all in one single movement. Unohana taicho noticed his free arm was wrapped around her, so he could protect her.

However, she didn't wait, as Isane and that other women needed her help. She noticed that Hisagi had attended her lieutenant's wound. Quickly, she looked at the other two. They were fine, but they couldn't stay there.

"Kuchiki taicho, we must…"

"Don't." Byakuya said, moving closer and lifting one of the shinigami. "We'll transport them to the shore, but we won't take them back to Seiretei."

"But we must….we have to…it's against the rules to…"

"The members of my squad are waiting ashore for instructions." Byakuya intevented "Those two, as well as the other wounded and hurt will be taken care of. Most of them should be on their way to your division as we speak. But your fukutaicho need immediate treatment, and you are too tired to attend all of them."

"Still, it's my duty…" Byakuya and Hisagi flashed them all ashore before she could finish. The 9th division acting captain quickly made a small shelter for the wounded women and them picked Isane up.

"You are in no condition to wield your zanpakuto, Unohana taicho." Byakuya said "So let my subordinates take care of there women while you rest. If you are tired the chances of doing them more harm than good are too high."

Unohana was silent for a moment, then she nodded and allowed Byakuya to flash her on shore, and Hisagi did the same. As soon as they got there Kyoko and Tomasu, two shinigami of Byakuya's squad hurried to meet them. Retsu suddenly felt dizzy and tired, and by remembering she hadn't eaten anything that day, she fainted. Byakuya used the opportunity to pick her up in a more stable way and turned to his subordinates:

"There are six, maybe more women on the beach of that island that need medical attention." As most of the captains had thought that something like that could happen every wounded shinigami had to be gotten to the beach, where Baykuya's squad had to attend to their moving. "Get them to Seiretei as fast as you can, but do not venture in the forests, even if you hear anything suspicious. Let the kido users from our division take care of the less wounded ones, and those who are worse must be taken immediately to the forth division."

"What about Unohana taicho and Isane fukutaicho?" Kyoko asked.

"Hisagi fukutaicho must've made sure that his fellow lieutenant is taken care of. I will bring Unohana taicho to her division myself and make sure that those idiots from the 11th division don't cause trouble to the healers."

"Taicho, I don't think we should worry about the 11th division." Tomasu smiled and pointed at the lake, where Yumichika and Ikkaku were rolling some sort of a primitive raft under the supervision of Yachiro, who was constantly screaming: "Move it, Q-ball, Peacock-brow! Put your backs into it!!!", and Zaraki, who was smirking. Whenever Yachiro's threats didn't have a sufficient effect the 11th division captain's hand was arching dangerously close to his zanpakuto….which was in a way a great encouragement.

* * *

A/N-So, how did you like it? I hope I didn't upset anyone, if yes, then I apologize. But do tell me, how do you find it? Did you guys have a favorite moment so far? Oh, well, don't expect later chapters before Saturday, because my 'infamous' Cambridge FCE exams are then. Wish me luck and enjoy your reading (if anyone cares the stories I recommend are on a little list on my profile page). Bye-bye. 


	9. More reflections

**Ok, so my exams are finally over and I can consentrate on more interesting things-more exams...and writing this of course. It's a little dull, not much happening. Oh well, you're the readers.

* * *

**

More reflections 

Kuchiki Byakuya-a noble, a captain, the head of one of the most powerful and respectful families of Soul Society, popular amongst all female shinigami and feared by most of the male. However the reason why he was so respected was not because of him good looks or great power, it was because he was extremely organized. And when organized, things just come in place by themselves.

Right now he was putting things to order so they would be prepared. When he arrived at the forth division, he left Unohana taicho in her office, making sure she was comfortable, and then started giving orders around the division. His subordinates had to take care of transporting the injured in that ridiculous race to the forth. The ones who didn't need special treatment were healed by the kido-users from the sixth, so the ones from the forth wouldn't waste precious energy.

Byakuya knew that there were only a few women left participating, but the rescuing of the ones who hadn't returned yet continued. Only half of that human sea that waited before the forest this very same morning had returned on their own, and a quarter of them had gotten away with just scratches. The other half was either missing, or brought in. Rukia and Orihime were still probably having their "punishment". But since they were with Issin Byakuya didn' have to worry.

He didn't count Ise san, Kurotsuchi san, Matsumoto san and Hinamori san as they were surely still standing. Pretty sure that at least Kyoraku taicho and Hitsugaya taicho were out there for them, there was little probability that they'd get hurt.

However, the Kuchiki nobleman was looking forward to the end of that ridiculous race. Not only that he'd be much calmer, but there were plenty of things to be done. All the women who participated would need help, and maybe even some of the men that went after them. Scolding all, for undertaking something so reckless, therapy for the graver wounded ones (both physically and psychologically), and punishment for the ones who let this get farther than it was supposed to go.

And see who that "most handsome man of Soul Society" was. Byakuya was only curious, of course, and since they all took measures he was just going to get away with beating from the men who got their hands on him first. Still it was strange that such a small thing as a leaflet would cause such havoc, especially to sober-headed, responsible women like Ise Nanao and even girls that seemed deprived from any feelings (Kurotsuchi Nemu for example).

* * *

When Byakuya put the division in order, and asking politely that the 11th division don't get in the way (via threatened to crush them in dust with Senbonzakura), he returned to Unohana taicho. She was still asleep, turned to one side. He had covered her with his captain's haori since all the blankets were probably dispatched through all the division. Knowing Unohana taicho's caring and selflessness, he supposed that she made her subordinates rest and took all their work on herself, that way living with minimum rest.

Byakuya frowned-he didn't approve overworking, and especially women overworking. The ladies from his division were treated firmly, but with respect. He gave them days off without too much convincing, and he didn't let the men boss them around.

Unohana taicho opened her eyes and saw a big cup of green tea next to her bed. Byakuya was just filling in the last report, but he left his work as soon as he saw she was awake.

"Are you feeling better, Unohana taicho." He asked with his usual voice.

"Much better, thank you, Kuchiki taicho." Unohana reached back to get up, but Byakuya's hand rested on her shoulder and pushed her down.

"There is no need for you to get up yet."

"But…"

"Your division's working well; your third seat's arranging things for you. However you should rest-if you're too tired you'll put your patients in danger."

"Thank you very much, Kuchiki taicho…" Unohana didn't know what to say…but she didn't have to as a Hell Butterfly found its way to Byakuya. The sixth division captain listened to the simple message-he was wanted near one of the gates.

"I'm sorry, Unohana taicho, I must go." He said, getting up. "Something's…turned up."

He shunpu-ed out of the room before she could say anything.

* * *

The guardsman of the door was sitting near a hole in the wall, blocking the way in and out. The fracture was small, almost invisible. But guards were set there to notice the invisible. And a hole in the wall…it was preposterous-it never happened before. The wall was made to be impenetrable and so far nobody was capable of breach the barrier…ok, maybe there was this one time with Kurosaki, but still….

The giant got up when Byakuya appeared in front of him.

"Not much damage, taicho sama. It will be fixed in a matter of hours."

"Did anything get it?"

"Apparently not, but we caught this thing trying to get through." The guard opened him vice-like fist and displayed a mushy ball of yellow fur. Byakuya's brow twitched as it started moving and turned into Kon, the perverted mod soul that Ichigo used before the whole "execution misunderstanding"; the mod soul they couldn't get rid of no matter what they did….the mod soul that was currently imprisoned in a stuffed lion…Yes, that same Kon was now in Soul Society, sitting on a guardsman's arm and staring Byakuya right in the face.

It didn't take too long before he burst out into his usual "Onee-san! Where is my onee-san! Take me to her immediately! I have to protect her from that vile, perverted Ichigo…."

"He mentions Rukia-dono's name, taicho sama, and without the required respect. Should I dispose of it?"

Byakuya opened his mouth to reply when a sudden thought hit him.

"No hand him over." The nobleman squeezed the back of Kon's neck with two fingers and carried him off like he was a helpless kitten off to somewhere.

* * *

And meanwhile Matsumoto was catching her breath.

"Damn…. off…leaving me all alone here…"

As soon as they read the message the inevitable had happened-Hinamori had hit Matsumoto on the head and ran off with the precious emerald pendant that was their key to the final stage. The blow was very light and it wasn't directed properly, but before Matsumoto gained her feet the 5th division lieutenant was out of sight. Matsumoto tried chasing after her…with no success what so ever. Geez, that girl ran faster than a cheetah.

Matsumoto stopped and sat down in the shades of a large tree. There was no point in going after Hinamori, she was far ahead now. And the note said they had to split up…so why was she worrying over that stupid girl who didn't know what's best for her, when she had better things to think of. She'd meet her in the final stage, right?

The last stage, if she was admitted. Hinamori snatched the pendant away from Matsumoto and there was no other way she'd get in.

Ok. There was. There were ways, dishonorable ways to get there. Matsumoto knew the rumors about her-that she made her way to her current position by seducing the right people. That she drank her monthly payment away for a night. That her "teasing" of her taicho was just a strategy to have her way.

Even though Matsumoto was a lot of things, she was never dishonorable.

"_What are you going to do?"_ a little voice asked her _"Where will you go from now."_

"I haven't lost yet…" Matsumoto tried to convince herself. "This is just a momentarily setback."

"_Yeah right. There's no way you'll get further if you don't do something."_

"I won't steal! That's something I cannot tolerate."

"_Momo stole the pendant."_

"The girl's in a state of shock. She can't think straight."

"_Stop making excuses for her, Matsumoto Rangiku. That girl's corrupted and you can't do anything about it."_

"Enough already. I've been young too, I know how she feels."

"_You know how you have felt. It has nothing to do with her."_

"I can understand it, Haineko, but…."

"_Well here's something to understand, Rangiku. Look around you and ask yourself some questions. How long can you tolerate her insolence? How long will you make up excuses for her and get nothing but ill treatment? Are you really going to leave your taicho to her, even though you feel it's wrong? Even though YOU love him and want to make him happy? Come on, Matsumoto, you're not the "If he's happy than I'm happy, even if he's with someone else" type."_

"But…I have principles. Who would I be without them?"

Haineko sighed.

"_Rangiku, it's a matter of choosing the lesser evil. Hinamori's destroying herself and you're not helping her by waiting the wounds to heal by themselves. She's being devoured from the inside and soon you won't have anything to save. If you can't save her, how will you live with the thought? And will Toushiro love you if you can't forgive yourself?"_

Matsumoto's eyes watered as she felt her body weak and desperate. She fell on the ground, inhaling it's smell, trying to draw some strength from it. And then her hand clasped a small item.

Unbelieving her good luck, Matsumoto raised the pendant that fell off one of the other women during the fight Unohana taicho an Isane stopped earlier. The 10th division fukutaicho grinned widely.

"_Oh boy, I wasted my words."_ Haineko's voice sounded disappointed.

"No, you didn't." Matsumoto said, getting up. "At least now I know what to do. Arigato, Haineko."

* * *

A/N-Hm, I'm losing my touch. But I better get the boring stuff out of the way before I get to the real part of it. 


	10. Rises and falls

**I'm back! As usual I own nothing of this. **

**Rises and falls**

Nanao and Nemu still went on together. The note did say they had to split up and they did…they just happened to follow the same path. After all they didn't come to win-they came for the exercise. 

"Nanao-san…" Nemu said "Did you anticipate this? I mean…getting so far?"

"I suppose not…but does it matter." Nanao said.

"I am curious…what did you expect of this?"

"Well…I don't know. Like I said it's the exercise and I wanted to help you a lot. But maybe…maybe I hoped that Kyoraku taicho might think about the…things between us. I've told him a million times that I might resign if he kept on like he does…"

"So you wanted to give him time to think seriously about it?" Nemu asked. Nanao nodded.

They were ascending a very high cliff-a typical mountain road. The note said that the final stage was going to happen on top of that mountain. The two women climbed up to a certain point and looked around-it was beautiful indeed. They saw the sparkling surface of the lake, the calm tops of the trees, even Seiretei. The sun shone over them, hot and burning. 

"I think the path goes around those trees." Nemu said, when she was cut off by a loud shriek. The two women broke a ran in the direction of the sound and saw Kyoraku taicho and Ukitake taicho, fighting two hollows. The question how they got there was laid off as the two captains were slowly pushed over the edge of the cliff. 

Shunsui and Jushiro both swung forward and pierced the hollows, but the power of the impact and the following explosion threw them back, off the edge of the cliff. 

Nanao and Nemu stepped forward at the same time, throwing themselves after the captains without any hesitation. Nemu grabbed Jushiro and wrapped her arms around him, but they were too far to get any support from anything. She quickly turned under him to take on herself most of the impact and Nanao watched them disappear under some trees.

The 8th division fukutaicho caughed Shunsui under the shoulder and grabbed at the rocks on the slope. For some meters they slid, Nanao's body crushing against the hard boulders in incredible speed, until they finally stopped.

Nanao's eye stung with tears, both from fear for Nemu and pain, but it wasn't the time to cry. One hand around her taicho's chest, the other one clinging onto the cliff, the slowly started seeking support with one of her legs. Her side, arm and hip were bruised, probably bled. One wrong movement and they would both fall down. Nanao suppressed a scream when she started slipping-her nails broke when she tried hanging on tighter. It was no use. 

She fell, but she had no time to scream-the ground was coming to them. Thankfully, Shunsui came around just in time and used his zanpakuto to throw some spirit energy around and soften the fall.

* * *

Nanao opened her eyes, surprised that she wasn't beaten up. Her taicho lay next to her on the grass, grinning widely.

"You know that you have the sweetest dimples on your cheeks when you sleep?"

"How long have I been out of it?" Nanao asked, rising up. 

"Not much. Less than a minute max."

"Oh…" Nanao got up "Taicho, what were you doing up there?" 

"Fighting. What did it look like?" Shunsui laughed "Honestly, Nanao-chan, did you expect me to just stay back when you're getting yourself involved in such a dangerous race?"

"I…Oh, God, Nemu…" Nanao jumped up and ran off in the direction where she saw Jushiro and Nemu land. Shunsui followed her, realizing what got her so worked out.

* * *

Jushiro was kneeling on a clearing, suppressing his sobs. Nemu lay unconscious next to him-her arms and legs were twisted from breaking the fall. Nanao noticed the 13th division captain had tried mending her wounds and he was holing her head in order not to put pressure on her neck. But she didn't waste time and knelt next to her friend, checking her pulse, etc. 

"How is she?" Shunsui asked, while he folded his haori to make a pillow for Nemu.

"I don't know. She was conscious while I was coming to…she was too weak to push me over…and she…she wanted to say something but she couldn't." Jushiro sounded very distressed.

"It looks nasty, but the major organs don't seem to have suffered." Nanao said. "Taicho, please find something we can use as cast. We have to get her out of here."

"Yes, yes…" Jushiro nodded "But…those boats aren't very reliable." He started coughing and his friend patted him on the shoulder.

"We can build a raft." Shunsui said calmly while he handed Nanao some wooden branches to secure Nemu's arms. "Are you strong enough to walk?"

"Yes…I'll carry her." Jushiro said, placing his hands under Nemu's back. Nanao blackened her hands and ran after her taicho.

* * *

They reached the shore, where Shunsui busied himself in cutting big pieces of trees in order to form a primitive sort of raft.

"There, it should hold." He said after an hour, in which Nemu's wounds were mended and Jushiro had come back to his senses. "Juu-kun, you get on with the ladies, I'll paddle."

"Not a chance." Nanao snapped while Nemu was being laid gently on the raft "You can't control this on your own and if we are slow about this, it can get worse. I will help you."

Saying this she took off her upper haori and hakama (which had been shred to pieces during the fall), and remained in her white under-robes. Shunsui followed her example and handed the clothes to Jushiro so he could cover Nemu up with them. Soon the primitive raft was sailing to shore, the 8th division taicho and fukutaicho kicking their feet as hard as they could.

* * *

Nemu was conscious, but unable to move much. She watched as captain Ukitake sat beside her and made sure she was comfortable. How did she deserve such treatment? 

"Captain Ukitake…" she murmured. "I'm…cold…"

Jushiro tucked the robes around her, but she still shivered. 

"How is she?" Asked Shunsui from the rear. 

"She's cold." Jushiro shouted "I can't warm her up."

"We covered her with every piece of cloth we can spare." Shunsui murmured "And there's a long way to the shore. Maybe you should hold her, Juu-kun, it might help."

"Try rubbing her feet and arms, that should warm her up." Nanao shouted from the other side of the raft.

Jushiro tried following her advice, but movements brought Nemu more pain. Ukitake watched as her face became a picture of agony, how she turned ghostly white, how her eyes began to close. He shouted at Nanao and Shunsui to wait a little, took off his white captain's haori, laid down next to Nemu and gently pressed her against him, desperately trying to keep her warm. 

At first the 12th division fukutaicho was surprised at this sudden display of attention, but she was in pain, and it was very cold, so she decided not to think about stuff like that and snuggled closer to Jushiro, inhaling deeply his scent. It was a very peculiar kind, a mix of medications, disinfectants and, for some unknown reason, sea. Yes, the fresh, cool breeze, that comes from the sea to give you relief in hot, insufferable summer days had, strangely, absorbed into captain Ukitake. Nemu smiled and closed her eyes contentedly, before dozing off.

* * *

Nanao breathed heavily-the pressure was too much, the water was too cold and the current was just killing her. Shunsui noticed and took her palm in his, squeezing it hard, as it was the only way he could comfort her now. They still had much to do and the time wasn't right for tattle-talk. 

They reached the shore and Jushiro carefully lifted Nemu up in his arms.

"Get her to the 12th." Shunsui said, picking up his haoris "And hope that Mayuri-taicho is still up. We'll catch up with you."

Jushiro nodded and shunpu-ed out of sight. Shunsui sighed and looked at his lieutenant who was desperately trying to stop herself from shivering. Hard. She wrapped her black uniform around her slender form, knowing that the rough fabric never transpired, but still felt cold. 

Shunsui smiled at her stubbornness and wrapped his arms around her.

"Does it feel better?"

"Taicho…you….what are you doing here?"

"Looking for you, silly. Did you honestly think I'd leave you all alone in danger?"

"But I wasn't in danger!" Nanao objected "Nemu-san and I were merely working out a sweat here. We didn't come for the race."

"Nanao-chan, Nanao-chan, I can see right through you. You got tired of me and decided to look for something better. I understand." He was about to back away, when Nanao's hands suddenly grabbed the front of his robe and held him down. Shunsui didn't know what to do-be surprised at Nanao's strength or smirk because he proved he had been right all along-Nanao wouldn't accept anybody but him.

"Never…" Her voice was husky, but her eyes were dead serious. "Never…say…stupid things…like that…" And with those words her eyelids started to close and she fell forward in his arms. 

Shunsui quickly grabbed her through the waist and checked her temperature-it was rising quickly and she was panting. He cursed himself-the idiot he was, he let her swim in that cold lake and kept her standing in the wind. She was bound to catch a cold and it was thanks to him.

* * *

Jushiro found himself in front of the 12th division, banging on the door like crazy. Finally, one of the lower seats came. 

"I need Kurotsuchi taicho, now." Jushiro said. The shinigami disappeared and soon the captain showed up. He looked at his daughter, then at captain Ukitake and raised an eyebrow.

"What do you want?"

"I found Nemu…she got hurt…you have to do something."

"Like what. It's her fault she got hurt." Mayuri crossed his arms "Take her to some place else."

Jushiro didn't have time to argue. He looked down at Nemu, who had woken up, and was looking at her father with a mixture of hurt and sadness. Suddenly, the 13th division captain felt anger roll over him, captivating his senses and flowing through his veins. Forgetting every politeness, grace and good manner he gripped tightly onto Nemu, freed one of his arms and crushed his fist into Kurotsuchi taicho's chin. The 12th division taicho fell back, his head thrown to the side from the power of the blow.

Nemu exclaimed quietly. Nobody ever did something like that for her. Usually she'd step in front to take the blow, but she was held down by Jushiro's other arm. Looking up to him she gasped-she never saw him that furious…ever.

Kurotsuchi taicho got up, rubbing his already broken chin-that would take a lot of healing potion. But that was going to happen later. Now the 13th division captain was his main concern. Mayuri had a good mind to pull his zanpakuto and use Ban Kai to teach those two idiots a lesson. However, Ukitake Jushiro was one of the most experienced and powerful captains of Soul Society, not to mention he was respected by almost every shinigami in Gotei 13. Fighting him would get him nowhere, and creating himself another lieutenant was going to take time and resources, which he couldn't spare in the moment. 

With a single movement he stepped back and gestured them to follow him inside. He took Nemu to an operation room. Jushiro placed her down on the table carefully as her father prepared the necessary instruments. Nemu held his wrist tightly and looked at him with her big brown eyes, filled with fear. Jushiro understood.

"May I stay during the operation?"

"Whatever." Mayuri spat out "It doesn't even require anesthesia. Just don't get in the way."

He didn't. And he held her and tightly in his while her father, murmuring something under his nose, did something and in a half an hour Nemu was sleeping peacefully in her room. Jushiro smiled happily, seeing the poor girl was going to be allright. He was about to say something when Mayuri taicho suddenly told him to follow him in one of the labs.

"You seem to have taken an interest in my daughter, Ukitake taicho." Mayuri said, while he was going through some test-tubes. "No where did I…ah, yes. Do you know that on Earth, they have invented a vaccine for your illness?"

"Huh? No, I don't. Is that it?" It didn't really matter, since his tuberculosis was in a very advanced stage. Whatever miracle cure they produced, it wouldn't work on him. 

"I know what you're thinking. You are probably wondering why I am telling you this." Mayuri taicho went through some cupboards before coming up with a sterile syringe and a needle. He placed them on the table before Ukitake taicho and started preparing a shot. "When I first created Nemu I was young and my mind was full of strange impressions that gigais are supposed to resemble a real human as much as possible to be the most effective. However, it turned out that by giving Nemu a big resemblance to a real human made her too soft…she thinks too much. I've recently thought about making myself a new lieutenant, and I've made sure that he'll be a decided improvement over that half-wit. But half-wit she is I don't know what to do with her."

The shot was ready, the needle sterilized and just waiting to pierce somebody's skin.

"This is very interesting, Mayuri-taicho, but what does that have to do with a human tuberculosis vaccine?" Ukitake taicho asked. "It's too late for me to get vaccinated anyway?"

"Fool. This is not a vaccine. Do you think that I, Kurotsuchi Mayuri taicho, the head of the 12th division of Gotei 13, the master of Seiretei's research group, the greatest scientist that ever lived AND died, the creator of the gigai and mod soul…" he goes about stuff like that for another 10 minutes "…would satisfy in only copying that pathetic and ragged human formula? I've improved it! This here is a full cure for tuberculosis and I can guarantee it will heal even you!"

"Even so…" Ukitake was dying to add to Mayuri's many titles _"a lousy copycat of Urahara Kisuke, an even lousier captain that go his ass whipped by some beginner Quincy and above all-horrible father."_, but it was not wise to bug the father of the woman he cared for, especially right after he saved her life. "Even so, I do not see the connection."

Mayuri let out a just-how-stupid-can-you-get sigh and said:

"I am willing to cure you." He said. "And before you express any suspicion that this is just some random chemical I just mixed up in the kitchen sink, I am going to tell you that I've had this for years. I was simply waiting for a chance to blackmail you and make you do me a favor. But in view of some…recent events…" Mayuri rubbed his chin "I believe that it's better that I give you full treatment, if you promise to take Nemu into your division when I fabricate a new fukutaicho for me. I don't care what you do with her, lock her in a closet if you like, just keep her out of my sight."

Jushiro just blinked, and then slowly nodded. Satisfied, Mayuri gave him the shot and said:

"I will send the serum to Unohana taicho with the instructions how to give it to you. In a month you'll be as good as new…your hair might even restore to its original color."

"Thank you."

"Whatever. You can go to Nemu's room and take her immediately to your division."

"But…there are papers to be made, and you said that you'll send her to the 13th after you make yourself a new lieutenant."

Mayuri stuffed some documents under Ukitake's nose. They were transfer papers, filled and signed. The spots about where Nemu was being transferred and the signature of the captain who got her were left out. Jushiro felt pretty angry that he was treating his daughter like some sort of merchandise, but the sooner he got her out of that wretched place the better. While he was filling them Mayuri went to a camera and opened it.

"As for the replacement, all I have to do is add his brain and he'll be ready for action." Mayuri explained. "Quite a handsome one too, if I might say so myself. I teach from my mistakes."

Jushiro bowed slightly while he was taking his copy of the papers and gave Nemu's brother a look. Oh, wouldn't Yumichika be happy when he sees him. 

"It might sound corny, Mayuri-taicho, but I'm starting to feel better already."

"Shut up and get out of here before I change my mind." 

* * *

A/N-Hope that didn't dissappoint all you Ukitake/Nemu fans. I hope this isn't getting lame...oh, well, if it is I'll just erase it. See ya until the next chapter. 


	11. The finalists

**Oh, this was fast. Thank you all for your reviews, and I'm sorry if the following chapter is too hard to read. I was a little...out of inspiration. **

**The finalists**

Jushiro waited until he was sure that Nemu was well enough to be moved. The young woman, who was now officially his subordinate, was awake almost as soon as he walked into her room.

It just took him one look around to make his blood boil over. It was tiny-a 3 to 3 to 3 meter cube, an empty, cold space that looked like some lumber room. Good God, Kurotsuchi was treating his daughter like dirt! The only signs that showed that this was somebody's quarters were the ragged futon and a small chest that contained Nemu's extra uniforms and some old pictures. 

"Ukitake taicho? What is it?" Nemu asked when he approached her quickly and with no hesitation picked her up from the bed. Right now all she was wearing was a short, white yukata, and she shivered in the cold night air. Jushiro shook off his captain's haori in order to help her keep warm and carried her out of the 12th division compound.

"Ukitake taicho, what is going on?" Nemu asked, while trying to catch a glimpse of his face. He looked angry for some reason…but was he angry with her? No, he seemed rather concerned about her comfort. His muscles slightly tensed, as if he wanted to punch someone, but instead he tucked his haori around her shoulders more carefully, before saying:

"First of, I want you to stop being so humble and official with me-and you will start calling me Jushiro, do you understand? Not Ukitake-taicho, not sir, not Jushiro-sama, Jushiro-kun suffices. The members of my squad must feel a part of a family, and our shinigami duties are more or less a part of our lives." He faced her and smiled at her-such a warm and gentle smile, filled with affection and love. Nemu felt like melting in his arms. But….

"But I am not a member of your squad…and Mayuri-sama will be very angry that you have taken me away from my division's compound."

"No, Nemu, the 12th isn't your division and as far as it concerns me you've never been a part of it."

"But…"

"Your father and I have settled it. You are a part of the 13th squad as from tonight and you will be given the position of a fifth seat. I know that this is a step back from what you've been doing, but I believe that this experience will help you accommodate better."

"But what is going to happen to my squad? Who will take the position of a fukutaicho?"

"Your father's taken care of that." Jushiro decided to spare her the details, but then paused. "Of course, the transfer is going to occur if you are agreed to it. If you don't want to be in my division I can understand…" Nemu stopped him from saying such things by throwing her arms around his neck and holding onto him as if her life depended on it. Jushiro let out a small smile and decided to keep her on the cold night air no more, so he flashed them both to the 13th division office.

* * *

Kiyone and Sentaro immediately presented themselves in front of their captain. Kiyone was, surpsisingly, the only female creature in Seiretei that hadn't fallen for the whole "race" thing, mostly because she'd only enter if it meant proving her value to her captain…which meant that Sentaro also had to enter, which was impossible of course. 

"Taicho!" They both shouted before bowing. Kiyone rose her head slightly, looking surprisingly the fukutaicho in Jushiro's arms. 

"Dismissed." He ordered "Kiyone, Sentaro, I want you to meet your newest comrade, Kurotsuchi Nemu, who will take from now the position of a fifth seat…." He waited until they relaxed and went on "…in our division. I trust you'll make her feel at home and you'll help her accommodate." He shifted her up in his arms a little. "She's recently suffered from a serious injury, so don't push her at training sessions and make sure she understands the rules of this squad. Fist thing tomorrow, I want one of you to pick her things up from the 12th division and the other to go to the 4th and ask Unohana taicho if anything should be done for Nemu-san. Understood?"

"Yes, captain!" Kiyone and Sentaro replied in union and gave Nemu their most friendly smiles. Jushiro sighed happily-he definitely knew they would make her feel comfortable. 

After that massacre that took place so many years ago the 13th had barely received new recruits-everybody was scared because the division compound was so close to that forest, where lurked God knew what creatures. So the compound was cold and deserted-the quarters were deserted, all except the ones belonging to Ukitake taicho, Kione, Sentaro and Rukia. 

Jushiro carried Nemu in his own room and placed her on the most comfortable chair so he could change the sheets of the bed. It was late and he didn't want to disturb his 3rd seats with such a trivial task.

"I'm sorry about this inconvenience, Nemu-san." Jushiro said, brushing a lock of pure white hair off his face "This transfer's rather sudden, but I thought that it was for your best to come to your new division immediately."

"You truly do not agree with Mayuri-sama's ideas?" Nemu asked, still feeling a little confused by the new environment. 

"The way he treats you is preposterous and it violates your rights, Nemu." Outraged, he even forgot to add a honorific to her name, something he would never do, but this was a special occasion anyway. "You have the full right to sue him, but since you will certainly not do that, you must at least allow people to treat you with the respect you deserve."

Nemu didn't know what to say. For one part, she felt bad that the man she loved had such bad feelings for her dad, but still…the new turn of events was making her feel really happy-no more experimenting on her, no more deadly poisons, no more screaming or being used as bait…instead, she was going to be allowed to work with the man she loved, and the people in the new division were so friendly. Pure happiness, who would give that up? Despite her father's opinion on the matter, Nemu was not stupid.

* * *

Matsumoto had never felt so bad in her entire life, including that time when she had to go home after that New Year's party where Gin had managed to get her drunk and steal her underwear. She was bruised, tired, dirty as hell and her uniform….well, it had definitely seen better days. She climbed up the slope, went through the forest and thankfully didn't run itno all the Hollows there because they were too freaked out by her flaming reiatsu. Even her taicho and Kira, who were after her kept a huge distance between each other because it was too dangerous. 

Rangiku was going forward in a straight line, not paying even the slightest attention to the thorns, and mud, and poisonous snakes in her bath-she just gritted her teeth and clutched the pendant with all the force she had. She HATED emeralds, but hell, it wasn't the time to think about that.

* * *

"Rangiku-san is really angry." Kira said when he and Hitsugaya ducked behind some bushes after she heard a noise and looked around.

"Nice job noticing the obvious." A rough, loud voice boomed behind them. They turned to find the 11th division captain, lieutenant, and 3rd and 5th seats, standing a few meters away from them. Their clothes and faces were covered in moss and mud that was supposed to help them blend in. However, Ikkaku looked like a very weird Easter egg, Yumichika's hair was standing on its edges thanks to the 'natural hair gel', and Zaraki was giving the impression of a pirate captain with Yachiro hanging on his shoulder like some kind of freaky pink parrot. 

"Whitey, why aren't you going after big boobies?" Yachiro said.

"She's too upset for help." Hitsugaya mumbled "What are you doing here?"

Yachiro of course followed her captain almost anywhere, but what could those guys possibly be looking for on this island? The race wasn't supposed to be offering a good fight, and the 10th division captain just couldn't picture any of those guys going after their girlfriends or love interests. 

Zaraki ignored the question and started walking forward, to the place where Matsumoto had stood a little before. 

"Zaraki! Answer me!"

"Oh us? We're just hiking." The 11th division captain sure couldn't sound very innocently for some reason.

* * *

Matsumoto followed the path until she reached a certain point, where she stopped and watched in stupefaction. Her blue eyes widened as she looked at the path, turning into a clear road, the forest making way to a huge clearing with a great view at the lake….or at least the view would be great, if it wasn't for the huge castle right in front of her. 

She approached it, looking for some sign that this was a mirage or something. But even though it was so enchantingly beautiful, it wasn't just a figure of her imagination. The windows, the roof, even the walls were made out of perfect, clear ice. Matsumoto couldn't see what was going on inside, but she could see glimpses of shadows running through the ice, and Hinamori was definitely there-she could feel her reiatsu coming from the building. 

Well, at least somebody was happy there. 

Matsumoto came closer, there were two guards on the door. Right now she looked her worst, hungry, dirty and messy, but she had the pendant…and they let her in without hesitation. They even smiled. Was this luck or not?

Oh, it had her captain's handwriting all over it. The ice, the guards, the fact that Hinamori was in….it all meant something. Her taicho still hadn't made his choice, but he wanted them to know how much he cared about them both.

* * *

The last message said that the last task will be a ball, and it had a room key attached to it. But…there wasn't any time left. Matsumoto bit her lip-the ball was about to begin in 10 minutes and taking a shower was the least thing she had to do. But….

If Hitsugaya really loved her, she thought, then it wouldn't matter to him what she would be wearing or the state of her hair. 

And still her looks were preposterous. Running into the nearest bathroom, Rangiku washed her hands, face, neck, and managed to clean and fix her uniform. Then she combed her hair with her fingers and actually succeeded in making it look better than a bird's nest. 

At last she looked at the result in the mirror and gave herself a wide, encouraging smile. It looked a little weird, but she liked what she saw-a confident, strong woman. 

"You'll win him, Rangiku." She said to her reflection and it nodded back. That done, Matsumoto turned on her heel and walked up to the big doors that led to the ballroom.

She went in just in time, before they closed, dropping the pendant in a flower pot on her way. Inside, it was crowded.

* * *

Matsumoto blinked against the blast of colors. It took her some time to realize that the huge ballroom was filled with women, dressed in wonderful, elegant dresses. Their skirts were dancing around their legs and as they passed by Matsumoto, the 10th division lieutenant felt the scent of expensive perfume. 

"Wow…this is very…classy." She said, hesitatingly. The house was situated right on top of the cliff and the room gave a good view of the panorama outside-the lake was clear and smooth like a mirror in which the moon could contemplate her reflection. The flickering of the stars was mixed with the lights of Rokungai. How many years it was again? Two hundred? Four hundred? It had been centuries since Rangiku roamed the streets of Rokungai with Gin and she still felt uneasy at such high-class parties. The last one she'd been to, on Kuchiki-taicho's birthday, she felt like suffocating and almost embarrassed herself and her taicho by 'breaking up the ice'. Via, she started drinking to calm herself and Hitsugaya managed to get her out of the Kuchiki estate before she made a laughing stock out of herself.

Well, at least here she couldn't see any drinks. Actually, the room looked like some huge dance floor. Even the music was coming from some other place, for there were no musicians in sight. 

In the blur of expensive scents and clothing Matsumoto noticed Hinamori. The 5th division fukutaicho looked like a real princess, with her white dress, medieval style, and pearl jewels in her hair that flickered like little stars. She was talking to some of the women, women Matsumoto had never seen before, and the girl truly seemed to be enjoying herself. But….her face seemed different. Her gaze was cast out; she seemed in some sort of delirium. Maybe she was congratulating herself on a job well done. Their eyes met, and Rangiku felt the coldness of that gaze. As if she was saying "What is this doing here?"

Matsumoto's nails dug deep in her skin-some race that was. It seemed as if everything was going against her. Hinamori cheated-she used her friend as far as the island, she stole the oh so needed pendant and now she looked so good that the 10th division fukutaicho felt like something the cat dragged in. All odds were in her rival's favor. Hitsugaya was going to pick her…and there wasn't a thing she could do about it. 

She bit her lip-it wasn't the time for crying. But she really felt like doing so. She really needed to go somewhere and let it all out. If they played fair and square….

_"What if you played fair and square? You'd have won?"_ Haineko's little voice called out of her head. _"Damn it, Matsumoto, how the hell did you end up in this mess?"_

"Shut up and leave me alone."

_"So that you can drown in self-pity. Face it, baby, we're stuck here and there's no sake. Instead of going all sad and beautiful, go to Toushiro and tell him everything."_

"Are you stupid or something? He'll think I'm lying to him."

_"Or better yet-he'll believe you."_

"Yes, he'll believe me and his heart would be broken."

_"Tell me, Rangiku, if you knew he's been in love with that little wet chicken Hinamori all along, why have you come here? Oh, wait, don't tell me you're desperately in love with him and that you hoped to make a difference."_

Rangiku didn't answer.

_"It IS like that, isn't it! Oh, God, Rangiku, what were you thinking?"_

"I was thinking…about his happiness."

_"Well, congratulations. Your kind consideration will make him love, date, even marry a lousy, good for nothing….wet chicken that would never make his truly happy, and you, my dear Rangiku, will spend the rest of your days drowning yourself up in sake, until a Hollow smashes you to bits or you choke on your drink."_

"Shut up, already, I don't even know if taicho is that mystery man."

_"Yeah, like anybody else would do that! And what do you make of this final, huh? Who, other than Toushiro, would make things happen the way they did, so you and Momo could be the only finalists?"_

"What are you talking about, the room is crowded."

_"Take off your eyes to dust them, Rangiku, than look again. It's only you two out here, I'm telling you."_

Rangiku frowned and looked around. She closed her eyes shut and then opened them again. Nothing, the room remained in tacked, filled will gorgeous women and expensie perfume. Matsumoto knew that her zanpakuto wasn't the most devoted one but…And then it hit her.

Haineko never lied! And a zanpakuto had a different way of seeing things. If she said that there was nobody in the room but Hinamori and herself, than it must be true, no matter how improbable it seemed.

Matsumoto narrowed her eyes more carefully, noticing the small faults in those illusions of women-some of their limbs were not situated where they were supposed to be, some of them walked backwards, and some were even transparent. It was….pretty obvious, but those were faults you'd see if you only looked for such. 

Oh, Gods, what had Hitsugaya done? 

No, no, it couldn't be. Matsumoto shook her head in disbelief. His zanpakuto could never create such an illusion and even though his pay was pretty high, he could never afford such things.

Well, if not Hitsugaya, then who was capable of doing this? Several shinigami, who's blades were capable of creating illusions crossed her mind, but they were neither so rich, nor so perky to come up with an idea like this. 

At that moment a small door opened and the friendly old man that greeted them that same morning came in.

"Dear ladies, I congratulate you on reaching the final-only the strongest and loveliest amongst you have made it so far. Now, allow me to present to you your host, my master, the most handsome man of all Soul Society, and your most humble servant…."

Steps were heard and a figure came out of the shadows. Hinamori caught her breath. And he was there…..

Silence…

And then there were applauds….

Hinamori squeaked in joy and boldly advanced forward to give him a hug.

But Rangiku had frozen dead in her tracks. She couldn't breathe, terror overcame her. A little more and she would faint.

A gasp escaped her lips.

"A…Aizen!"

"Yours truly…Aizen Sousuke." The old man announced amongst the furious applauds. 

* * *

**A/N-Despite the obvious evidence that the author of this story is losing her mind, I must assure you that presently, I am perfectly sane. But you'll have to wait until the following chapter to know what's going on...not like you haven't figured it out already, but still shrugs. Sorry about the cliffie.Don't grab the pitch forks and torches yet,please!**


	12. The mystery man

**Sorry it took so long, sorry! I was suffering from a major Author's block, but now I'm back on line and I'm concentrating on this one for now. Thanks for the reviews again.

* * *

****The mystery man**

"_Dear ladies, I congratulate you on reaching the final-only the strongest and loveliest amongst you have made it so far. Now, allow me to present to you your host, my master, the most handsome man of all Soul Society, and your most humble servant…." _

_Steps were heard and a figure came out of the shadows. Hinamori caught her breath. And he was there…_

_Silence…_

_And then there were applauds…_

_Hinamori squeaked in joy and boldly advanced forward to give him a hug._

_But Rangiku had frozen dead in her tracks. She couldn't breathe, terror overcame her. A little more and she would faint._

_A gasp escaped her lips._

"_A…Aizen…"_

"_Yours truly…Aizen Sousuke." The old man announced amongst the furious applauds. _

* * *

Aizen was standing in the room, one of his arms wrapped around Himanori's shoulders, and the other one was raised above his head, asking for silence. He was wearing his old captain's uniform, and his lips were curved in smirk that Matsumoto really didn't like.

Hinamori looked like she was on cloud nine. Sure, she liked Toushiro, but having her former captain behind everything…it seemed wonderful. But Matsumoto was frozen dead with fear. Now everything was making sense-the Hollows, the illusions, the deadly traps all over those usually peaceful forests…It had been Aizen's doing. Now that she was seeing him, she felt his reiatsu practically reeking from the walls of that house.

Turning around she saw Tousen, standing close to the doors. No way could she run away. In that case, there was one thing left to do….

But before she could grab hold of her zanapakuto, she was stopped by a sword, set against her throat.

"Now, now, Ran-chan, let's not make a scene." Gin's voice whispered in her ear, and she could practically hear him smirk. Matsumoto bit her lip so hard it bled, but she didn't tremble, not one bit. She wouldn't allow him to see her fear.

* * *

Hitsugaya, Kira and the members of the 11th joined captain Soi Fong and a small, black cat in their survey of the mansion. The head of the 2nd was so busy watching the house she didn't notice them until Zaraki taicho sat down next to her and tapped her shoulder.

"What the…What are you doing here?" the young woman practically yelled.

"Yare, that's some language you've got there Soi Fong." The cat snickered.

"Yoruichi-sama, be careful…"

"Oh, cut the act." Zaraki grunted out "I felt Shihoin's reiatsu before I set foot on this island." Yoruichi gave him a bored look, and then shrugged, as much as it was possible for a cat. "So…Who are you spying, Soi Fong?"

"It's does not concern you." She replied, glancing over her shoulder at Hitsugaya "You shouldn't even be here. With the current state of Gotei 13, it is not wise to have the acting division heads running around the forests."

"Yeah, but isn't that what you're doing right now?" Soi Fong threw Zaraki a death glear, before turning again to the mansion.

"You have no business here, you better go back."

"Oh, yes, we do." Tousiro faced her with his arms crossed in front of his chest. "My lieutenant is currently in that house, as well as a very important friend of mine. As far as it concerns me I have two subordinates who might be in danger, so I demand that you tell me what is going on."

Soi Fong got up-she wasn't very tall, but standing in her full height, she could easily pass as Hitsugaya's older sister, who was about to scold him. With her arms crossed before her chest, it looked like she was saying 'Since when does that child tell me what to do.' Yoruichi's gentle tap on her heel made her drop the act.

"Now, now, Soi, they'll know it anyway. Just tell them."

"But Yoruichi-sama!"

"We might need their help, there might be more than we expect there." The cat pointed out. "Listen, I know that you hate to rely on other people, but your stubbornness can kill us both, as well as to doom all Soul Society, so please forget about you independence just this time."

Soi Fong sighed in defeat and turned to Hitsugaya. There was a deep frown forming on her face, a sure sign that she was nervious.

"Earlier this morning there was a rapture in one of the gates. It was…very small, but there were found traces of Aizen Sousuke's reiatsu. The hole wasn't big enough for a living being to pass through, but we know enough of him to be cautious."

"We all know Aizen." Yoruichi said "And since the whole thing happened on the day of that mysterious race, it just couldn't be a coincidence."

"But…how did you get in here, Shihoin-san?" Kira asked politely.

"Oh, a good old friend of mine shot me through the sky." Yoruichi started licking her paws, clearly amused. "I landed right into the Second division, just in time to stop Soi Fong here from participating, actually."

"Yo…yoruichi-sama!" the young woman blushed "Please, don't say such…"

"Why shouldn't she?" Zaraki laughed "So who did you think it was?"

"It is none of your business." She mumbled under her nose.

"Oh, come on? Kuchiki? Yamamoto? Ukitake?"

"Ken-chan, she thought it was you." Yachiro chipped happily from his shoulder. Zaraki was about to laugh, but then suspiciously glanced at Yoruichi, and then at Soi Fong, who was currently busy examining the tips of her shoes. Her blush was giving the impression that small pink butterflies had suddenly landed on her cheeks.

"Oh…" Zaraki managed out, and also looked down at his feet. Gosh, he never knew that shoes could be so interesting.

Behind his back, Ikkaku and Yumichika were on the verge of bursting out in laughter, but then Yachiro turned to them, her infamous pink-kitty-anger-aura forming above her head.

"Let's get this straight…" she hissed "You guys are NOT making fun of Ken-chan's romantic moment and I won't cry."

They nodded.

* * *

And while that precious family scene was going on, a terrible realization came over Hitsugaya-Matsumoto and Hinamori were trapped in that house…with Aizen…He knew enough of his lieutenant to know she'd do anything to get Hinamori out, but that poor girl…it was a nightmare.

"I'm going in." He announced, but he was held down by captains Zaraki and Soi Fong.

"Hold on, you can't just barge in there." Yoruichi said angrily "This mansion is like a fortress, you need a bazooka to get in."

"And what do you suggest we do, huh? Play cards in the bushes and hope Aizen just dropped by to say hi?"

"Just stay put." Zaraki grunted out "If they say so, then they have a plan."

"And since when did YOU start following plans?"

* * *

Aizen led Hinamori to the dance floor and they waltzed as Gin held Matsumoto back. His sword was still on her neck, but his other arm wasn't holding her wrist. It rested on her shoulder-casually, lazily as if they were on one of those boring parties Kuchiki threw once in a while. It was like they were watching a couple of old, dear friends who they managed to set up.

Of course-why should he worry? Matsumoto was still too panicked to do anything, and even if she had enough guts to pull out Haineko, she would have to go through her former lover and captain Tousen-and even if she managed that, she would never get out of the building without Hinamori-who was currently too busy interacting with Aizen.

Right now she could just hope that somebody notices Aizen's reiatsu and comes to their aid….

"Not a chance, Ran-chan." Gin cooed in her ear, pressing the blade of his katana barely closer to her neck "There's a very large shield around this island-nothing can come in or get out unless we want it to."

"Don't be so cocky, Gin!" Matsumoto forced her luck with that line, but if she stopped it meant the end of her "There isn't anything that Sou-taicho can't breach, even with your skills."

Gin didn't cut her throat or punished her in any other way for her boldness. He actually seemed quite amused.

"True, true. But before old man Yama can even get here, we'd be long gone. Right, Aizen-kun."

Aizen and Hinamori stopped in mid-pace and turned to face them. Hinamori looked pretty surprised, as if she noticed Rangiku for the first time.

"Aizen-taicho, why is Ichimaru-taicho holding a sword against Matsumoto-san's neck?"

"Never you mind." The traitor gave his former lieutenant one of his irresistible smiles and held her tightly, which practically melted her like ice-cream in his embrace. Then Aizen turned to Rangiku. "Matsumoto san, you truly are an amazing woman. Not too bright, but amazing indeed."

"Mind telling me what is this all about? What have you got to do with us?"

"Straight to the point as usual. Let's just say I'm getting a little nostalgic. And as Hinamori-kun can't possibly live without me, it is my duty as her captain to come and take her with me."

"Pretty dumb enrolling every other woman in Seiretei though." Matsumoto frowned. "All the men want your head on a stake, Aizen!"

"They can wish and want, but they won't get anything. This entire island is surrounded by one of Tousen's favorite shields. Nobody can come in or get out."

Matsumoto struggled, but as usual, Gin's vice-like grip held her down. There must've been some other reason! Aizen wouldn't participate in such a circus for Hinamori, he never loved her that much….he never loved anyone this much. Unless…

The strongest and loveliest…the best made it. The entire race was about choosing the best women of Seiretei…and getting the men out of Gotei 13. Aizen was weakening their defences! And just like the last fools, they fell for it!

* * *

A/N-Sorrr, not much happening. For some reason I thought it got lame and people lost interest, so I had to re-arrange my plotline a bit. Constructive critisism is always welcome. I'll do my best with the next chapters.


	13. Step back

**I know it's a little weird, but I thought it would be nice to take a break from the drama. I noticed I was overlooking all those couples that were created during the storyline, and I just didn't want to leave them hanging. **

* * *

**Step back**

Hisagi felt his captain's reiatsu even before somebody busted into his quarters to tell him. The acting 9th division captain gave his subordinate a sour look.

"Stop yelling." He said, through gritted teeth "I know he's here."

"The captains are organizing to go on the island…"

"And what does that have to do with me?" asked Hisagi, his tone practically cutting the air like a knife.

"Well….every captain is going and…"

"Is this a direct order from Sou-taicho?"

"Well, no…"

"Then leave me alone!"

The man left the room running, leaving the door open. Hisagi sighed and went to close it, so that Isane wouldn't catch a cold….well, make her cold worse. He brought her to his division since the 4th was full. Right now she was lying on his bed, with a cold towel pressed to her forehead. She had just enough strength to change her clothes and then she fainted from exhaustion.

Hisagi sighed, as he was taking care of her-how stupid could she get, running off into that stupid race, with her stupid weak body. She didn't have the training for that kind of stuff! No wonder if she was beaten out. Hisagi made a mental note to give her a serious lecture about going on places she shouldn't be.

Isane opened her beautiful, sad eyes and looked at him. Her vision was blurred, but she could distinguish a handsome, worried face.

"Are you my prince?" she asked.

"You sleep there." Hisagi said "You're the important one now."

Isane obeyed without thinking, and Hisagi, unconsciously, tucked the blankets around her. How strange! A few seconds ago he was ready to strangle her for being so foolish…now all he wanted was to look at her. She really was something, but that pale skin of hers, combined with her white hair gave him the impression of a ghost. First thing tomorrow, he would go to the 4th division and ask captain Unohana to give her a sick leave for a week. Then he'd get some of Ise-san's special soup and feed his friend until she regained her color.

Hisagi went to the window-even though he couldn't see the lake he knew that his captain had put up a shield around the island. From his personal experience, he knew that nothing could breach it. Sigh. His duty as a ranking officer was to go and make himself useful. However, he knew that whatever he did, it'd be useless.

Isane turned in her sleep. That was good-it meant that she was improving. A quiet hum escaped her lips. Hisagi toughed her cheek and whispered:

"Shh, you sleep there. I'm not going anywhere."

And after a short pause, he added:

"And don't think you'll get away with that lecture."

* * *

Shunsui carried Nanao all the way to his quarters, ignoring the crowds forming on the streets of Seiretei and Aizen's reiatsu. Just as Hisagi, the 8th division captain knew that he would only get in the way, so he busied himself with more important stuff.

"Taicho, I'm sure that I'll be Ok…" Nanao said, but once again Shunsui opted not to listen to her.

"Now…" he said while kicking the doors of his home open "There's a bathroom on the left, and the water should be warm. Take a bath to warm up, and I'll fix some tea for us both."

"But…but taicho…"

"What, Nanao-chan?"

"I don't have any dry clothes." Nanao bowed her head shyly. As much as he wanted to tell her that she could wear his clothes all she liked, he knew that this would only make her angry. Cursing himself over his own stupidity, Shunsui masked his discomfort with a hearty laughter.

"And that being true, I'll leave you to sink in the tub while I go to your place and fetch you something to wear. Don't say anything, Nanao-chan, though you may seem Ok, I don't want to leave you alone tonight. All that this race gave you was a cold."

Nanao sighed.

"I guess you're right…but shouldn't you do something about Aizen?"

"There is nothing we can do from here. It's up to those who are left inside." Shunsui smiled, and then let her down "Now don't let me repeat myself, Nanao-chan, take a bath. It's an order."

"Yes, of course. Oh, captain…" Nanao called out to him as he was on the doorstep "Um…on the table in the living room there is something for you."

"In…your living room, Nanao-chan?" Shunsui asked, bewildered.

"Um, yes…I brought it from the Living world, but I couldn't give it to you earlier." Nanao blushed slightly. Shunsui, despite himself, also blushed, remembering that awkward scene with one of his exes the other day.

* * *

He shunpo-ed to her place and went in, using the spare keys he had to all of his subordinates' apartments. As captain, he had to take care of them, after all. He had been tempted to use the keys to Nanao's apartment to pay her a visit in the middle of the night, but that would only result in sexual harassment complaints and burned eyebrows. Nanao was very brutish sometimes.

Shunsui raided her closet, created a pile of socks on the floor and tossed the uniforms aside as he looked for something a little more…un-Nanao. Come on, that woman had to have something different from haoris and hakamas. He took a bag and put in a white skirt and a red blouse with an open collar. Grinning, he also threw in a black bra and bikini in a matching color. Just as he was about to leave, he remembered what she said and he went in the living room.

At first he thought that she had been mistaken-the only thing on the table was a paper bag. But then he took a peek in…and then another one…and then he emptied its continence on the table and a smile of appreciation crept across his face.

* * *

Nanao knelt on the floor of the bathroom and started to remove her drenched clothes. Her captain's bathroom was made in a traditional Japanese style, with a shower in the corner and a tub, filled with hot water. She washed her hair and scrubbed the dirt from her body, trying not to think about what would he say when he found the bag. Stupid, stupid, she told herself, why did you tell him?! It was a dumb gift, something she bought out of pure impulse, and now he knew it was for him!

She dumped a bucket of cold water on her head to wash the soap away and then sat in the tub to warm herself up. Well, he would've looked in anyway, at least he wasn't going to think she bought it for someone else….Yeah, like there'd be someone else, when she was stuck slaving him 24/7.

"Oh, Nanao-chan! I'm back!" her taicho's melodic voice called from the living room "Are you taking a bath like I told you or you're just sitting on the floor?"

"Why would I be sitting on the floor?!" Nanao yelped, the voice was getting closer.

"Oh, no reason. I brought you some clothes and dry towels, should I leave them on the floor or you'll come to get them yourself?"

Forgetting that she was naked, Nanao got out of the tub and walked to the door. She cautiously let out her hand, expecting to feel the fabric of the clothes he had brought for her. But after feeling nothing but cold air, she peeked out and saw Shunsui, standing a meter or so away from the doorstep, looking at her hand carefully. There was something different about him too…

He was wearing it! The plain costume she had bought for him from the human world. He looked like a Spanish hidalgo with it, and the light brown color really suited him. The only colorful thing in his look was the scarf, wrapped around his neck-it was pink and red, and it had the same pattern as his accursed flamboyant haori…but that was the precise reason why Nanao had bought it.

"Well, Nanao-chan, how do I look?" he asked, turning.

"Very…handsome." Nanao blinked "Do you like it?"

"Do I like it? I love it! And I love it even more because you chose this lovely scarf to go with it."

"Ah, well…" blushes "I thought that you wouldn't feel comfortable unless there's something more of you in it."

"How very true! But Nanao-chan, you forgot one very important thing."

"Yes?"

"You should've bought yourself something that would go with it! That way we could both match!"

Nanao let out a small smile, and then nodded:

"I suppose it's true. I'll have it in mind next time I go to the human world. Now, taicho…"

"Yes?"

"Can I please have my clothes now?"

* * *

A/N-Sorry, sorry if it was confusing. The japanese style bathroom came from a book I have, sorry if the information was inaccurate. Hope you liked the chapter though.


	14. Skies of ice

**Sorry if this looks hurried.**

* * *

**Skies of ice**

Yoruichi and Soi Fong took Hitsugaya to the west, while the 11th division members moved to the east. Their plan was to attack the house from both sides and catch Aizen unprepared. The former captain had left a few low level arrancar to guard the house; he was clearly not expecting guests. Since they couldn't tell right from left they barely noticed Yoruichi's cat form running past them, before her human form slapped them on their heads. On the other side, Zaraki taicho and his men took care of the guars, so good that there wasn't a smudge left on the ground. So the two groups headed undisturbed to the main hall, where Aizen was going on about something.

* * *

"Hinamori-kun…Momo…do you love me?" Aizen cupped her chin and looked her into the eyes. "Do you truly love me?"

"Aizen…taicho…" Tears started to fill Hinamori's eyes.

"Say my name, Momo…" His smile was warm enough to melt an iceberg, but Matsumoto felt like puking-it was disgusting, grotesque, a satyr, created to mock Hinamori's feelings. It was watching a snake hypnotize its prey, before devouring it.

Hinamori opened her mouth.

"Sou…Sou-su…"

**BANG!**

Shield or not, the doors were blown open right from their hinges and were crushed into mere pieces of wood by an enormous amount of reiatsu. Tousen was immediately thrown to the other end of the room by Ikkaku and Yumichika, and the others quickly stepped into the room.

"MATSUMOTO! HINAMORI!" Hitsugaya yelled, his zanpakuto unsheathed and ready for cutting and slicing. However, Aizen didn't seem the least bit impressed. Actually, the first to speak was Gin.

"Kira-san, what on Earth are you wearing?" the tone of his voice reminded more of a mother that just noticed her daughter's belly button ear-ring, but Kira didn't answer. He just blushed.

Matsumoto tried to use the diversion and break free, but Gin's sword was pressed against her throat tighter than ever.

Aizen sighed. One of his hands rested laizily on the hilt of his zanpakuto, the other held Hinamori close.

"Careful, captain Hitsugaya." His fingers toyed with the collar of Momo's dress, revealing the small emerald pendant she was wearing. "This little shackle here isn't just some ordinary jewel. It's something special I created in Hueco Mundo, something like my zanpakuto-one command from me and it will inject deadly poison into her. She'll be dead before any of you could reach me."

Hitsugaya gritted his teeth and lowered Hiyorinmaru.

"Good boy." Aizen smiled "For being so obedient I'll let you live…for now." Turning to Gin he nodded "Let's get going, Grimmjaw will lead the other Espada in any moment now. We don't want anybody to get hurt, don't we?"

* * *

Just then Hinamori started to move into Aizen's arms.

"Sousuke-kun, what is this?" Her blurred, sad eyes turned around, going from one face to another. Her delusional brain was finally starting to process and she looked confused and worried. "Aizen-taicho…"

"Don't worry, Hinamori-kun. We'll be out of here soon."

"But Aizen taicho, my friends…"

"You shouldn't worry about them…" Aizen's grip tightened as he was trying to restore the hypnosis…however Momo was already waking up.

"Toushiro…Kira-san…Rangiku…" she started to struggle in her former captain's grip "Please, let me go to them, Aizen-taicho. They need my help."

"No, they don't!" Aizen was really pissed now. "Gin, dispose of them, now!"

Small smile emerged on Ichimaru's face as he pressed his sword next to Rangiku's neck. A soft whisper escaped his lips, so quiet that only she heard it.

"Let's make a show worth remembering, Ran-chan."

He threw her right into Hitsugaya's arms and thrust forward. Toushiro had enough time to push her to safety before pulling his zanapakuto.

As the two were fighting Kira began slowly to move closer to Aizen. The former was too busy watching the fight between Zaraki and Tousen to notice.

* * *

The former 9th division captain had definitely improved. Soi Fong noticed it and lunged forward to help, but was hit and Tousen was about to use her as a shield….but Kenpachi was faster. Grabbing her by the wrist (more roughly than he ought to have), he pulled her behind his back.

Tousen narrowed his eyes and sliced the air on his right, where Yachiro had sat to watch. Fortunately, the 11th division fukutaicho was fast enough to shunpo next to Ikkaku and Yumichika, where she could be protected. Yoruichi was nowhere in sight.

"Hiding behind women and children…" Zaraki grunted out playfully "You're losing your touch, Tousen. What happened to honorable fighting?"

"You are not the one to talk about honor."

"Hm…yeah, you've got a point." Zaraki made a sign to Soi Fong to move away. "But I sure don't allow other people mess around in MY fights." And he took off his eye patch.

* * *

Aizen was getting really bored. The noise of swords clashing, the outbursts of reiatsu and Hinamori's constant whining were driving him insane. Just then, Rangiku caught sight of Gin's eyes. Just for split second, but it was enough.

Matsumoto unsheathed her zanpakuto, lunging at forward, as if to pierce Hitsugaya. For a moment, everything was silent. Her captain looked at her with wide eyes, surprised at her change of attitude. Had Matsumoto suddenly changed sides?

But no-in the last minute she turned and faced Aizen. She hoped to thrust Haineko into him before he could do anything, but he was faster. Holding Hinamori out as a live shield, his complexion told it all. If she tried anything, Hinamori would die.

Matsumoto paused, wondering what to do. Silence befell the room…Aizen smirked, but suddenly Hinamori cried:

"Rangiku-san, please, through me! Cut him through me!" the yell surprised Aizen more than anyone. He looked at his former subordinate in pure bewilderment. Tears were falling from the girl's pure, honest eyes. Matsumoto wasn't sure, but then nodded-it was what was right to do.

"Unare, Haineko!" she used her zanpakuto's shikai, hoping that maybe she could save Hinamori. But Aizen was too fast. Outraged that he was betrayed, he roughly threw her aside, activating the poisonous necklace. A cry of pain escaped Hinamori's lips, before she crushed in Kira's arms.

Aizen was charging at Matsumoto, ready to slice her. Haineko was far…she wouldn't make it.

Then, Aizen's blade met defenseless flesh…only it wasn't Rangiku's. Gin had nailed himself on his blade, giving Hitsugaya enough time to attack the traitor.

A terrible cry echoed all over Seiretei. Aizen looked at the icy javelin that was sticking out of his chest. Slowly, he pooled on the floor like a pile of useless flesh.

Matsumoto screamed and stepped forward, pulling her taicho away and wrapping her arms around Gin's lifeless body.

* * *

In the other end of the room Zaraki was finishing Tousen. A black cat dashed through the room, turning in mid-pace into Shihoin Yoruichi in all her naked beauty.

"Quickly, get out of here!" She screamed "Soi Fong! Zaraki! Kira! Hitsugaya! COME ON DAMN IT!"

Kira had already grabbed Hinamori, and pulling off the wretched pendant he dashed through the nearest window. Ikkaku helped Yoruichi bind Tousen, the only one of the traitorous trio that was still breathing. Yumichika grabbed Yachiro through the waist, carrying her out, and his captain followed with Soi Fong, thrown on one shoulder, and the prisoner on the other. Soon, the only ones left were Hitsugaya, Matsumoto and the two dead bodies.

"Matsumoto, hurry!" Hitsugaya turned to his subordinate, but she had frozen in her place. She had removed the sword from her former lover's chest, his head rested in her lap, and she was stroking his blue hair.

"Ran-chan…" he managed out, opening his eyes "What the hell are you still doing here?"

"Shut up…do you think I'd leave you in such a disgraceful state?"

"Get lost!" he pushed her off him, roughly "This house is going down any second now! Hitsugaya, get her away from me!"

"NO!" Matsumoto tried to hug him, but Gin pushed her away. How strange his face was? His eyes were open, his eyebrows were not twitched, he wasn't giving her that half-mocking frown. A terrible realization hit her-he was dead serious.

"Please, I didn't just kill myself so you could die too!" Gin exclaimed "Please, Rangiku…" he paused "Do it!"

Matsumoto nodded and ran out of the house, with Hitsugaya on her side, supporting her. And just in time, because the fabulous mansion crumbled to the ground amongst piles of dust and ashes.

* * *

Kira was kneeling next to Hinamori on a small clearing, half crying, half panting. There was a small cut on her throat, where the poison had been injected. Kira sucked it, spitting the blood aside, and then gave her a heart massage.

"Please, please, don't die on me…" he was mumbling like a prayer, and then bent forward, giving her a mouth-to-mouth. Suddenly, a small gasp escaped her lips. The color slowly returned to her face and she opened her eyes. They were not blurred or sleepy anymore-her gaze was firm and serious, though she looked like crying.

"You're alive!" he exclaimed "THANK GOD!"

Pulling her in his arms, he cried and laughed. Hinamori cried too and they stayed like that for a while.

"Thank you…" she repeated over and over again "Thank you so much!"

"Oh, Hinamori-kun…" Kira pulled away and stroked her violet hair "I was so worried….thank God you're alive now…"

"Please, don't be so kind." She whispered, bowing her head "I feel so bad."

But Kira just pulled her in his warm embrace and soon every sad thought drifted away.

"It's Ok…" he said softly "It's fine…you'll see, everything is going to be alright."

* * *

A/N-Gomen, Gomen nasai, this was very rushed, but I really wanted to get the battle thing out of the way. I apologize if this isn't very good.

Ah, and if there is anybody who's read my fic "A gamble with destiny", can you please PM me so I can know what the hell am I doing wrong with it?

I'm not trying to advertise, the fic is just close to my heart and I just can't understand why people aren't reading.


	15. I need you

**Sorry if it's hurried.**

* * *

**I need you**

A small sigh escaped Matsumoto's lips as she made her way to a small pond. Somehow, she felt incredibly dirty at the moment and couldn't wait until she went back to her quarters to wash. Small boats were seen making their way through the lake, they'd be saved soon. But Yamamoto Sou-taicho would want to know what happened, the interrogations and reports would take forever…and Matsumoto wanted to look at least a bit presentable when that happened.

She went ankle deep in the pond, took the hems of her hakama and started rubbing them against each other in a desperate attempt to get some of the stains off. It didn't work much-her hands were freezing from the cold water and bleeding from the constant contact with the rough fabric. Still, Matsumoto didn't stop soaking and rubbing, until all of the sudden her energy left her and she fell back, sitting on a small rock nearby.

"Are you Ok, Matsumoto?" Hitsugaya came out behind some trees. She tired to straighten herself up as much as possible, jumped up and forced a smile.

"Of course, taicho. Why shouldn't I be?"

"I don't know. You disappeared a long time ago, I wanted to see if you were alright." He stood close, a meter or so away from her. "Isn't it a bit late for a bath?"

"Oh, no, no! I was just trying to wash this damn thing." For proof she went back to cleaning the stains. "It's not good to look bad in front of Yamamoto, you say so yourself."

Suddenly, she felt his warm breath on her neck and a pair of strong brown arms taking hers.

"Matsumoto, you're bleeding!" He exclaimed and pulled her to sit down on the rock once more. Wading in the pond himself, not letting her go for a moment, he examined the small cuts on her hands, then ripped some cloth from his haori in order to bandage them.

"Taicho, this isn't really necessary, it's nothing." Matusmoto tried to be cheerful, but her eyes were still sad. Hitsugaya sighed and looked at her face. Pale cheeks, red eyes, yes, but no traces of tears-she hadn't cried. Why? Everything about her betrayed her feelings, but she refused to let them free. Sitting down next to her, not minding the freezing water that was drenching his clothes, he looked at the sky, trying to find the right words.

"Is Hinamori-kun better?" Matsumoto asked, trying to break the awkward silence.

"Uh? Yeah, Kira's brought her back to life quite successfully…she'll recover.

"I'm happy." She thought for a moment, then took a breath "Taicho."

"Yes?"

"I…I wanted to apologize. I didn't take good care of Hinamori-kun and jeopardized her life. I should've kept a better eye on her."

"Yes, you should've…" Matsumoto bowed her head "But if you did, maybe she would never have seen through Aizen's lies." His hand rested on her shoulder "Don't blame yourself, we're all alive and well."

"But I was so mean…I didn't want to take care of her. I deliberately lost sight of her…I could've done better. But I was too selfish to think about other things than my own feelings."

He raised an eyebrow. "You're talking about the game, right?"

"Yes." Matsumoto sighed "Hinamori-kun and I thought you were behind all this."

Suddenly, she slapped a hand over her mouth. How stupid she was! She told him! She actually told him how she felt.

Hitsugaya was looking at her dumbly. He was stunned by her statement, yes, but what really shocked him was her air in a whole. No playfulness, no happy smiles…the façade of a careless bimbo around her was totally gone and she looked so surprised, so…genuine. Her eyes shun brilliantly, her face was animated by the sudden rush of blood in her cheeks…for some reason he felt more attracted by her natural looks, then by her usual lay-back playfulness.

The hand that laid on her shoulder tightened it's grip and turned her to face him.

"Now there…" he said in a soft voice "What is the matter?"

"T…taicho, I'm so sorry…"

Even though there was no task as a shinigami that Hitsugaya Toushiro couldn't stand up to, he was a total loss when it came to women. What was appropriate to do right now? Tell her that it isn't wrong? That he was worried about her even more than he was worried about Momo? That he cared for her despite the fact that they were like two polar opposites of the same magnet? That he felt for her?

Stupid. Her first friend, her lover, the person that even in betrayal loved her enough to give his own life for her had just died in her arms…Maybe she didn't love Gin anymore, but she sure as hell didn't need his confessions right now.

"Why are you crying?" he asked again, trying to comfort her the best he could.

"Because you're so good." Matsumoto gasped "And because I was so stupid to think that you could be so mean as to toy with women like that. If you wanted to date anybody you would've told them…but I was so, so stupid!"

He pulled her in his tight embrace and let her cry all she wanted. His hand automatically laced through her silky hair and he whispered a quiet, comforting 'shh'.

"Don't worry." She could almost feel his smile. "I'm here for you, Rangiku. And I need you, not only as a fukutaicho, but as a friend…as a very, very special friend."

Maybe he would confess later, he thought as she pulled him in one of her infamous bear hugs and squeezed all the oxygen out of his lungs. Maybe when the time was right…Now, words were unwelcome. Small gestures sufficed.

* * *

Hitsugaya's haori wasn't the only one that was being torn.

"Stop moving, damn it!" Zaraki gritted his teeth as he was bandaging Soi Fong's wrist with the help of Yoruichi. The Goddess of Flash was clearly enjoying the situation, as Zaraki was apologizing once again for twisting the 2nd division captain's wrist like that.

"I think that this will end well, ne, boys?" she gave the others a wink. Ikkaku tried to hide the blood that was gushing out of his nose (a usual reaction to men who saw Yoruichi right after she transformed), and Yumichika sighed "How primitive", while he was balancing Yachiro on his knee, and holding his zanpakuto up to Tousen's throat.

"Ah, Kira-kun." Yumihika suddenly left the guarding to Yachiro and got up "Let me help you out of that corset, if you will. As beautiful I find this, I must say that Yamamoto sou-taicho and your comrades won't appreciate it."

* * *

The boats stopped and a bunch of Shinigami, led by Unohana taicho and Byakuya taicho came ashore. Hinamori was carried bridal style by Kira all the way to the beach and even farther, Zaraki, with Yachiro on his shoulder, gave Soi Fong a hand (gently), and Yoruichi slipped under the huge man's robes in the form of a cat, just to hide herself from Byakuya. Ikkaku and Yumichika took upon themselves to escort the prisoner to the prison of the 1st division, and Hitsugaya and Matsumoto joined them shortly.

"This is quite a nice work you've done here, Zaraki taicho." Unohana complimented him as she examined Soi Fong's wrist. The mentioned taicho blushed and mumbled something like 'nothing to it', while a fuzzy cat's tail moved playfully somewhere near his thorax cage.

Byakuya pulled Yachiro aside and whispered something in her ear, while handing her something tightly wrapped. The girl examined the package for a while, then gave the 6th division captain a court nod and a huge smile. "You got it, Bya-kun!"

"Very well." A smile of contentment ran across his face, as he got up to look at Hitsugaya taicho. "I take it that the cause of all this trouble is exterminated."

"Yes. Though we might expect a visit from our old friends the arrancar."

"Do not worry about them. Ichigo and Issin Kurosaki, along with the captains of the 1st, 7th, 8th, 9th and 13th division are currently taking care of that." He turned to the lieutenant of the 10th division "Matsumoto-dono, I'd need your testimony for the events on this island."

"Later." Hitsugaya cut him off, hand laying protectively on his fukutaicho's shoulder "She's tired right now. She needs to rest. I hope you don't have anything in mind, Kuchiki-taicho."

"Not at all." Byakuya nodded. This day was tiresome.

While the boats were rolling ashore, small kido blasts and reiatsu flairs indicated the end of the battle on the shore. The shinigami were winning.

* * *

A/N-Well, this is coming to an end. Expect a big epilogue soon...that is if you want one.


	16. It's wonderful!

**Please, pay attention to the note after this chapter.**

* * *

**It's wonderful**

"Hey, Mr. Quincy…" Yachiro jumped on Ishida's bed. "You awake?"

"Yeah…I am now." Ishida sat up slowly, wondering how the heck did Yachiro get into Byakuya's house. As if seeing the question in his eyes, the fukutaicho of the 11th division grinned and said:

"Bya-kun wanted me to keep an eye on Rukia-chan and Icchi while he's out, so that they don't do anything naughty." She chuckled "As if….Icci's dad is always yelling at them to make out and Icchi always goes and bets him up."

Ishida blinked, trying to understand the reason for her presence in his room.

After the battle with the remaining arrancar, Byakuya had allowed Orihime, Ishida, Ichigo and Isshin Kurosaki to stay at his house as guests. It seemed like the 6th division captain was willing to get to know his sister's beau a little better and so far ha was making progress-he only gave him a death glare once a day.

"Ne, Quincy-kun, you sure have a way with the needle, eh?" Ishida blushed, but then realized what Yachiro meant.

"Ah, yes…I fancy myself to be quite gifted in sewing."

"How fast can you sew?" Yachiro went through the folds of her uniform and pulled out a very dirty, very scared, and very ragged Kon. "Can you fix him for me?"

"Can I fix him?" Before Yachiro could even blink, Ishida had pulled out his portable sewing kit and turned Kon into a beautiful, blue-haired mermaid "Does that answer your question?"

"Eeeeh…Cuute!" Yachiro squeaked and took Kon. "Can you do other stuff?"

"Whatever you might like." Ishida smirked

"If I ask you to make evening dresses for all of us, will you do it?"

"For all of who?"

"The elite members of the SWA. We are thinking about throwing a western-style clothing party and since the barrier between our world and the living world is still being checked…"

"Now, Yachiro, this is a very serious task…" Ishida tried to get his way out of becoming the SWA' personal tailor, but Yachiro knew a game worth two of that.

"Oh, don't worry, I understand. Bun-girl's dress was very pretty, wasn't it? Maybe I'll ask Tousen where did Aizen get it from."

"Hinamori'kun's dress? That archaic piece of clothing can hardly be called a gown!" Ishida, terrified with the image of women dressed like that pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and beamed at Yachiro. "You just give me enough cloth and the measurements of the women who want a dress, Yachiro-chan, and I'll show you what a real dress is like!"

Yachiro contained her smile until she left the Quincy's quarters, and then pulled out a Hell butterfly.

"Yachiro to Bya-kun. He's on."

"Very well." Byakuya's voice sounded on the other side of the line. "Good job, Kusajishi."

"Just have the candy waiting for me at the barracks." Yachiro chipped, and then went to play with her new mermaid-Kon.

* * *

In the 13th division barracks' kitchen, Nemu was carefully shopping vegetables for stew. Since it was her turn to cook, she saw it as a perfect opportunity to improve her skills with the knife. She was so absorbed in her work that she didn't notice Jushiro walk inside.

Her captain stared, pleasantly surprised at the fresh color on her cheeks and the small smile of contentment that was playing on her lips. It was a nice thing, seeing her so animated-before she barely smiled. Now, she seemed absolutely fascinated by everything, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem.

Finally catching her eye, he gave her a warm smile. Nemu immediately stopped and turned to smile back. He looked so handsome, with his simple white yukata and his glorious snowy hair falling around his shoulders. The treatment was already showing off-during the past week, after that disastrous race, he had become more energetic, and he had regained his color.

"Are you feeling alright, captain?" Nemu said, the same serene smile on her face. Jushiro nodded and went to warm some water.

"Would you like some tea?" he asked, as she went back to chopping vegetables.

"No, thank you. Shouldn't you be resting?"

"It's Kiyone and Sentaro's drill time, I can't miss it." He said. "If I'm not there, they might just kill each other."

"I see. Captain Ukitake…Jushiro-san…." Nemu blushed slightly. They had agreed that she could call him by his name when they were between friends "I'm very happy that…ow…"

Pulling her hand away she looked at her finger. She had cut it with the knife. How careless!

Even though she didn't cry, Jushiro turned, wondering why her sentence was left unfinished and saw the blood. Leaving his occupation immediately, he went to her to look at the wound. Then he bent down and kissed her wound carefully.

A small blush crept across her face as she asked why he was doing this. Jushiro pulled away and smiled. "It's what you do when someone bleeds, Nemu-san."

"Oh…" Nemu was about to say something, but he suddenly felt a little dizzy and gripped at the kitchen sink.

"Yare…" he said embarrassingly, while coughing some blood out "I guess…" Nemu cut him off by wrapping her hands around him and kissing him on the mouth fervently. At first he was stunned, but then held her closer and returned the kiss.

They pulled apart, panting, but never letting go.

"Now why did you that for?" he asked.

"It's what you do when someone bleeds." Nemu explained with a smile.

At that moment Kiyone came in the kitchen.

"Nemu-chan, Nemu-chan…oh, taicho." She blinked, looking at them "Um, Nemu-chan, Rukia-san sent a message for you. She wants to ask if you'd like a dress for the party and if you do you have to go to the Kuchiki residence for Ishida-san to take your measurements."

"Now? But I still have cooking to do…"

"Don't worry, Nemu, you can go if you want." Jushiro put a hand on her shoulder "I can finish this."

Bowing, Nemu hopped out.

* * *

Matsumoto sat down under a shed near the 10th division training ground and took a sip of water. Then she put on her sandals and straightened herself up to go to the Kuchiki manor, but stopped and looked back. Hitsugaya was leading the morning drill a few meters away, and she stole a few moments to stare at him a little.

Somebody coughed near her and caught her attention. It was Hinamori, kneeling a meter or so near her.

"Rangiku-san, may I please speak to you?" she asked in her timid voice.

"Sure. What is it?"

"Um…I wanted to apologize for what I said back at the race…" a blush crept across her face "I acted very wrong, I shouldn't have done such bad things."

"Now there, it's not that bad." Rangiku smiled motherly "I don't think I acted any better either."

Hinamori bowed her head. Rangiku laughed warmly and patted her shoulder.

"Now, now, it's ok…"

"But I didn't do anything good…you almost died…and now I feel so ashamed for having Kira-kun and you are all alone and…"

"Don't worry." Matsumoto smiled "I just might be as lucky as to have somebody come with me on the party. Have you gone yet to Ishida to make you a dress?"

"No."

"Well then, let's go together and you can tell me all about Kira-kun." Matsumoto smiled, even though she knew everything already.

* * *

In the afternoon, Jushiro dropped by at Byakuya's to pick up Nemu's dress. His beautiful subordinate wanted to go on her own, but he was going to the 4th for his shots anyway.

Ishida was sitting in his room, sorting some packages, clearly very proud of himself.

"Are those for Kiyone and Nemu?" Jushiro asked, while Ishida was handing him two carefully packed boxes.

"No, your 3rd seat hasn't come. This one is for Ise-fukutaicho. Would you be so kind to give it to her when you pass through the 8th?"

"Yeah, sure." Jushiro nodded. Why not? Maybe he could have a chat with Shunsui.

Shunpo-ing all the way to the barracks of the 8th division he was surprised to be told that Nanao was at her captain's quarters. Upon reaching the door, he heard two voices coming from the rooms.

"No, not like that…" Nanao said "You can't do it like that."

"But Nanao-chan, see how hard I'm trying…"

"I know, but if you're going to do it, you need to do it right."

"Ok, ok, let's take it from the top…"

Jushiro knocked and entered. And there was some sight for him-Nanao was sitting on her taicho's knee, without her glasses and with her hair down. Shunsui's right arm was wrapped safely around her, and with the other one, he was balancing a big book called "History of the Momijiyama period."

"Oh, Juu-kun. Come it. What brings you here?" Shunsui smiled, as Nanao was trying hard not to blush.

"Um, I came to bring Nanao-san's dress. Um…what are you two doing?"

"Doing? Oh, you mean this!" the captain of the 8th division smiled widely "Ot's a part of the deal Nanao-chan and I have struck. She'll be nice and let me hug her and kiss her, as long as I read her some of this stuff." He raised the book so Jushiro might see it better "It's really boring, but if Nanao-chan says, I must obey."

"It's for your own good anyway." Nanao regained her composure and looked questioningly at the other captain "But I don't remember going to Ishida-san…or ordering a dress."

"Of course you don't-I sent him your measurements." Shunsui got up to take the box from Jushiro "Remember what we talked about that outfit you got me from the living world…what you needed something to match it."

"But…but that must've cost a fortune…" Nanao began, while her captain was looking over the countenance of the box.

"Not really. Ishida-san only requested the fabric."

"Yare, Nanao-chan, you have to but this on." Shunsui handed the box over to her. Nanao blushed and closed the lid.

"You can't just…"

"Please, Nanao-chan! I'll read you some more." Shunsui gave her a 'puppy eyes' stare. Nanao tried to object, but couldn't-nobody could resist the 'puppy eyes' stare. With a sigh of defeat she nodded and made her captain bounce up and down in utter joy, hug her and give her a big kiss.

* * *

Hitsugaya opened his eyes. How strange-usually after a drill he felt really happy and full of energy. Today he had just collapsed on the couch in his office and fallen asleep. Vaguely, he remembered the rustle of a hakama and a gentle fabric covering him…and the fresh, soft scent of lilies settling in the room.

He finally focused…and blinked….and blinked again. Matsumoto was sitting on her desk, two piles of paperwork were settled on her right, finished, and she was halfway through the third. Seeing that he was awake, she turned and smiled:

"Good afternoon, Taicho!"

"Who are you and what have you done with Matsumoto?" Hitsugaya growled, but soon enough his face was pressed against his lieutenant's infamous cleavage and he was losing his breath.

"Oh, taicho, ho can you be so cruel!!" Matsumoto cried dramatically. It was good to see that she was back to her normal self again, but Hitsugaya had never seen her do paperwork so willingly. Pulling away, he made her sit next to him and carefully examined her face for any signs of drunkenness or illness, but no-her features were perfectly fine and her breath smelled fresh.

"What do you want?" he asked finally.

"Oh, TAICHOOO!" another bear hug "How can you be so mean! I was just doing my duty as a good fukutaicho, that's all!"

"Yeah, and the clouds are made of cotton candy." Hitsugaya pulled back, though a little unwillingly "What is it?"

Matsumoto pouted.

"I just wanted to shut you up, that's what." She crossed her arms "I don't want you to remember me as 'laid-back Matsumoto, who doesn't do all the paperwork'. What if I decide to become evil and leave Soul Society and all you remember of me is a pink scarf and a lying form on the couch?"

Hitsugaya blinked, surprised at the sudden sadness in her eyes. And then he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her so her head could rest on his shoulder. For a few moments his fingers laced through her golden locks as he tried to figure out something proper to say.

"I don't think I'd remember you like that." He said at last.

"You won't?"

"No." he pulled back so he could look at her beautiful blue eyes "Whatever you might think, I have the highest esteem of you." He paused "Why did you suddenly think about stuff like that?"

"Taicho, this is serious business!" Matsumoto shook her head "This is a dangerous job we've got and I might die and what memory would you have of me then?"

She was interrupted by Hitsugaya's hand, cupping her cheek and turning her once again to him.

"Listen here and listen well." Was that anger in his eye? "You will not die, because I'm here to protect you. And if you die, you mustn't worry of the memories I might have, because I would probably die with you."

Matsumoto's lips trembled and she buried her face in his chest, crying. Hitsugaya held her lovingly and gave her a tender peck on the lips. It was enough to comfort her and she forced a smile though tears.

"Ok, let's go down to work then." He nodded and they both got up

"Ah, Matsumoto…" He said as he noticed the package from Ishida near her desk "May I join you on the party Kuchiki taicho is throwing?"

She stared at him in disbelief.

"Who are you and what have you done with my taicho?" Matsumoto laughed hysterically.

* * *

"And this is the last one." Unohana taicho watched as her final patient left the 4th division, safe and sound. She had to admit, even though Byakuya did his best to help with the injured from the race, the week had been tough. Acting captain Hisagi had asked her to give Isane a break and she had agreed. After all, her lieutenant deserved it, and long working hours with no vacation what so ever made you inefficient…but that meant that Unohana taicho had to take upon herself everything.

Kuchiki taicho had come along as often as he could permit himself to assist her. Because of his advanced skills in kido and his habit of doing lots of paperwork he had been a wanted aid and a cherished interlocutor. But now that the 4th division was empty he was probably going to stop coming. Unohana discovered that, surprisingly, she would miss him by her side.

She permitted herself a small sigh as she went back to her office and took off her white captain's haori. Folding up her sleeves and undoing her messy braid she sat down to comb her hair. It was a moment of peace, a moment she kept for herself at the end of a long shift. The simple movements helped her to get her mind off whatever was troubling her. But today, somehow, it was different.

There is nothing to bother you, she told herself. He was a captain, he had a division to run; he was a noble, and a head of a big and powerful clan-he had responsibilities. At times of crises the squads had to help each other, and Byakuya had done nothing more but his duty. And it wasn't like he had died; she was going to see him again at captain's meetings. But it wasn't the same.

A soft knock on the door snapped her out of her thoughts and she said 'come in', before she realized how she looked like. A blush invaded her face as Byakuya made his way in and looked at her. Unohana felt awkward.

But Byakuya wasn't disturbed because of her appearance. Not the least. Though at first he thought that he had entered the wrong room. But then he recognized her and just HAD to admit-she was very beautiful. The rays of the setting sun were making her skin shine like gold, and her hair, wrapped around her shoulders by the zephyr was like a beautiful shawl.

"Good evening, Unohana taicho." He greeted her with a slight bow "May I sit?"

"Um…yes, of course." She bowed and showed him a seat. "Are you feeling unwell?" he shook his head. "I see…would you like some tea then?"

"Yes, thank you." Byakuya watched as she took a small pot and filled two cups.

"Kuchiki taicho…" she said suddenly "I wanted to thank you for your kind consideration this entire week. Your help was inestimable and the aid you offered me during the race itself saved my life."

"There is nothing to thank about, I just did what anybody should've done in the circumstances." Byakuya took the cup of tea that was offered to him with a court bow and took a sip.

"Still, allow me to be thankful-you mustn't just overlook the kindness offered to you."

"How very true." His fingers folded with an old piece of paper from her desk and his hands subconsciously started playing with it. "I…I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Yes?"

"I was…I though about arranging an assembly…since we got out of this peril safe and sound…I think Rukia would appreciate it."

"I am sure she will. And you have been really civil to Kurosaki-kun lately-I know she is grateful for that."

"Yes…" Byakuya looked at the paper flower he had just made. "I hoped to…persuade you to come too." He dared a look, and then quickly deteriorated it "It won't be a big assembly, just a few captains and lieutenants and of course Kurosaki and his friends." He offered her the origami in a silent pleads.

Unohana looked at it, surprised beyond everything, and then took it, brishing his warm arm with the cold tips of her fingers.

"Thank you, it will be an honor." Unohana smiled, and Byakuya sighed in relief.

"Well then..." he got up "I guess that I should be going now." Unohana nodded. Byakuya managed to contain himself until he left the room…and then he took a deep breath. An unexpected heat burned his cheeks. Gosh, how the hell didn't he evaporate back in that room?!

* * *

The Kuchiki manor was a simple house….well, simple compared with the bigger and fancy castles most of the noble clans built. It was an ensemble of one-floor chambers, built in a traditional Japanese style, with many rooms and vast gardens. The rooms were decorated simply, but with taste.

Byakuya had decided to hold the party in one of the gardens, under some cherry trees. It was summer and the guests couldn't fest their eyes on the beautiful sakura blossoms, but it was a comfortable nook that made one think he had suddenly been transported to a different world.

The guests started to arrive, and Rukia, as the lady of the house, rushed to greet them. Soon, the garden was full of smartly dressed captains and lieutenants. Yumichika and Ikkaku had once again been left to baby-sit Yachiro, but none of the three seemed upset. The 3rd and 5th seats of the 11th division were a very picturesque pair-Ikkaku's eye was black, Yumichika's side was swallen and red, and Yachiro was banned from eating sweets all evening. (Please see author's note bellow for an explanation) Usually, the circumstances would lead to lots of crying and swinging chairs around, but this time the two clowns of the 11th were carrying their wounds with great pride, and Yachiro was thoughtfully munching on a delicious piece of lettuce.

Zaraki and Soi Fong were currently engaged in a very absorbing conversation in the back of the garden. Ishida was complimenting Orihime on the wonderful way she wore her eye-shadow. Orhimie replied that she didn't wear any eye-shadow. Hinamori giggled as a blushing Kira approached Byakuya to ask if there would be music (he had promised Momo to dance with her). The Kuchiki noble looked clueless for a moment, and then told Rukia to get that strange device she brought from the living world which played songs. He also stunned everyone when he asked Ichigo to go and help her search for it.

Ukitake taicho and Kyoraku taicho arrived at the same time, leading with them two very beautiful women. Nanao was a perfect match with her captain, with her deep violet dress and her hair down, and Nemu was unrecognizable-not because she was dressed like an orchid princess, but because of the newly acquainted brilliant complexion and rosy cheeks.

She was also smiling, only a little bit less than Ukitake taicho who seemed on the seventh heaven. Byakuya sighed, holding back a smile, and then Unohana taicho arrived, accompanied by Hisagi and Isane, and the host was completely lost.

Finally, music was produced and Kira got down to fulfilling his promise. Some of the others also joined them. Soi Fong and Zaraki were still talking, Ikkaku, Yumichika and Yachiro went to eavesdrop, and Ichigo and Rukia hid behind a column to finally…suffer their punishment.

Surprisingly, Shunsui and Nanao were the first ones to take their leave. While her captain took their coats, Nanao said something about urgent business that could not be delayed. Hisagi soon followed their example by saying that Isane needed more rest. Nemu was a little disappointed because the dancing was over, and Jushiro shunpo-ed them to their division where they could dig out some music and continue the party with the other shinigami of the 13th. Finally, Ishida and Orihime left the garden, leaving Byakuya and Retsu to contemplate the night sky.

* * *

Matsumoto danced a few steps before leaning on her taicho for support, giggling.

"I still can't understand how you can act so drunk without even tasting sake all evening."

"Because, taicho, I'm so very happy." Matsumoto executed an amazing pirouette and grinned "Besides, the evening is too beautiful to end just now."

"It's one P.M., Matsumoto." Hitsugaya stated warmly.

"Precisely. And since I have no Nanao to come with me…"

"I am not going to follow you around every bar in Seiretei until you are so drunk you can't move." He cut her off.

"But taichooo!" Matsumoto pouted adorably

"The answer is still no."

"I have to ask Kyoraku-taicho about that puppy eyes thing." Matsumoto said under her breath, and turned to the man on her side "But seriously, taicho, most men would kill just to follow me around bars until I can't move."

"And what is that making me then? A captain that doesn't want you to get into trouble?" Hitsugaya frowned, dead serious. Rangiku looked at him, smiled and gave him the biggest hug she was capable of (he needed almost five minutes until he could breathe normally again).

"Well then…" Still smiling, Matsumoto made him sit on some stairs and put her hands on his shoulders "Let's make something better than roaming the bars in the dead of the night."

"Like what?" he breathed.

"Well, let's see…go back to the division…lithe some candles….and do paperwork until the night is out."

"You're joking, right?" Toushiro blinked.

"Not at all, taicho. Haven't you heard that women that work are ten times more attractive than women who sleep the day away?"

"Is that some new statistics you read in your magazines?" he laughed.

"Nope. I just learn from what I've seen. Take Nanao for example." Rangiku winked and strated walking towards the 10th division compound. Toushiro watched her in disbelief, and then smiled maliciously-he was so going to prove her wrong.

* * *

A/N-I know, I know, it's not clear enough. But I just knew that if I did the Zaraki-Soi Fong scene this chapter would go on for miles and miles. But **fear not-a Zara/Soi fic will be produced** as soon as I get my thoughts in order. I didn't forget those guys, I just know they need more space.

Aaanyway, thank you for reading and reviewing, some of you have practically **saved this fic from oblivion**. But now I'm curious if it met your expectations. **What** was your favourite part? And your **least favourite**? Do you think something should be changed and what? And was the ending to your liking?

Yes, I care about my readers' opinions. Maybe I just need a good feedback.

**Again, thank you for putting up with me. I hope you liked readign this fic as much as I enjoyed writing it.**

I will not write 'the end' here. Why? Because things are just getting started.


	17. Sidestory: The thin line

**

* * *

**

The thin line

"Oh, this is most disturbing." Ikkaku winced as Yumichika interrupted his thoughts. In truth, Yumichika was voicing the thoughts 2nd, 3rd and 5th seat of the 11th division. "Walking around like that is not beautiful!!!"

"Shut up, Peacock-brow, we know that."

The three were sitting on a rooftop, where they couldn't hear the cries of pain that echoed all over the division compound. Zaraki taicho wasn't himself. Actually, all week, ever since that race, he hadn't been himself. This whole morning all he did was pace around the barracks like a tractor with no regard about his surroundings. Once or twice he broke down a wall. His foot sank in the floor and he snapped back to reality just long enough to get it out of the hole. But that wasn't the worst. His subordinates, in desperate attempts to cheer him up, enthusiastically started fights over every corner.

As result the bigger part of the division had beaten itself to bloody pulps before noon. They had no healers, the only kido user was Yumichika (and he wouldn't admit it even if he was threatened with a new haircut or ugly clothes), and Kuchiki Byakuya had earlier bribed Yachiro with an animated stuff animal just to keep the 11th out of Unohana taicho's hair. The man was in love with the captain of the 4th for sure, but Yachiro was starting to worry.

Yumichika had tried talking to him the other day. Like everybody else, he wanted his captain back to his normal kick-everybody's-ass self, even if it meant talking about love. Not that it was a bad thing, Yumichika was a strict monogamist, the problem was that the only person he ever loved that much was himself.

And let's be honest, if you don't know what can make you happy, why the hell are you living for?

"Taicho, why not just talk to her." He began. Zaraki looked at him as if he had escaped from a nut-house.

"What?"

"I understand it's a hard thing (no, he didn't), but think about her too. She just had her feelings exposed to you by somebody else, somebody who thought it was just a joke. If you feel awkward, what is left for her?"

"In fact…" he went on "Soi Fong taicho is a wonderful woman. Sure she's a little on the short side, but she has many qualities, a decent fashion sense, and your characters aren't that different as you might suspect. She keeps a tight grip on her subordinates, she's strict and she sure can give you a good fight. Plus, Yachiro likes her."

Basically, Yumichika had pushed Zaraki over the edge of a cliff. A very big and dangerous cliff. You couldn't just tell a man who ignored feelings all his life because he thought they were making people weak that he was free to give way to them.

Zaraki taicho was not a gentleman. Zaraki taicho had no feelings. Feelings were for wimps. Wimps did not run divisions, especially a division like the 11th, whose sole purpose was to raise strong men. A purpose Zaraki taicho himself had set up. What was going to happen when the man who was putting strength before everything started _dating_? Total humiliation was the least that was going to happen.

"Something has to happen." Yachiro said "If Ken-chan goes on like that he'll end up being nice to everybody."

"Taicho's never going to go to Soi Fong." Ikkaku said. "She has to come to him."

"Are you out of your chicken-sized mind?" Yumichika snorted "Soi Fong taicho has been terribly embarrassed, not to mention that she actually confirmed her feelings by stepping out to fight Tousen. She must be so scared of approaching him that she'll probably barricade herself in her division and never come out again."

"She is the one scared? Look at taicho, he looks like he's eaten a living squirrel."

"Ken-chan doesn't look like he's eaten a living squirrel, I've seen him do that and he looked nothing like that. He's just uneasy."

"Well somebody has to make the first step, otherwise those two will end up breaking down, along with their divisions." Ikkaku though about it for a moment "How about letters? Or make them swap diaries. I'm sure it's easier to understand somebody's thoughts when they're written down."

"I don't think that Taicho is the kind of person that would put his thoughts on a piece of paper for everyone to see."

"Oh, Ken-chan has a diary, he writes the division's logs all the time."

"I meant a personal diary."

"He's got one of those too." Yachiro chipped "But I don't think that he'll allow us to give it to Soi Fong. And she isn't very likely to give us hers."

"First, she'll have to give us her diary because by bringing her Zaraki's we'll be showing her how much he trusts her and how he puts himself at her mercy. She'll be touched!" Yumichika exclaimed.

"And second, taicho will have no choice. It's for his own good, so show us where he keeps it."

* * *

Yachiro shunpo-ed to Zaraki's quarters, and skipping over something that looked like broken chicken bones, she dug out a small notebook. Then she ran back to the others.

"Is this it?" Ikkaku took the notebook between his fingers and lifted it up to the light.

"Oh, how ugly!" Yumichika covered his nose "And taicho actually writes in this? Look, there are stains on the cover."

"You sure it's his diary?" Yachiro nodded "Well, guess we better get going then."

As the walked, a sudden and unhealthy curiosity started to bloom in them. Like every good subordinate, they too were dying to know their leader's secrets. So when Ikkaku 'accidentally' dropped it so it might open up, nobody was really eager to pick it up without reading something first.

"_June 1__st__-we fought._

_June 2__nd__-we fought._

_June 3__rd__-we fought and went to the 4__th__ division to pick on the pansies. _

_June 4__th__-we fought, ate and fought again._

_June 5__th__-we ate while we fought, picked on the pansies and fought again._"

Later on there was something of a record indicating how many heads did every member of the 11th division broke, and another that (as far as they could tell) kept track of the times they picked on the 4th division.

Needless to say it wasn't a very exciting reading matter, and as far as romantic or filled with deep dark secrets was concerned-it got a 0 out of 100. Definitely not something they wanted Soi Fong taicho to see.

They returned it and sat down to think.

"Well?" Yachiro looked at the other two "What are we going to do now?"

"Sit here and wait until our captain goes nuts?" Ikkaku suggested.

"We can't leave Ken-chan like this!"

"Watch me." Ikkaku got up "We wanted to help, but hell, it's not our fault the man's not romantic."

"Unlike you, who are the most intelligent and sensitive individual?" Yumichika looked worried. "Our lieutenant is right, if we don't do something for our captain it's hell for all of us. Consider-if he's upset you'll never get to beat him, Ikkaku."

"Yeah well…victory isn't the most important. Soi Fong taicho will kill us if we try to help them because she'll think we're mocking her feelings."

"Aren't you considerate." Yumichika rolled his eyes "Then let me put it in a way you'd understand-you'll help us get our taicho to his normal self or else I'll bring that adorable sister of Keigo's here and sick her on you."

Hard choice.

"Ok. What's on your mind." He sighed, desperately.

"Well, if our captain is not the romantic type then let's turn him into one." Yumichika grinned.

* * *

Some paper, a colorful pen and some lavender perfume were produced and Yumichika knelt down with Yachiro and Ikkaku peering over his shoulder.

"Ok, so how about a poem." Yachiro chipped "I've heard bun-girl and big-boobies say that they'd die for somebody who can write poetry."

"Remember, we have to make it look like taicho wrote it." Yumichika thought out loud "We CAN try poetry but what kind of words would he pick?"

"Let me have a go." Ikkaku took the pen from Yumickika's hands and seated himself more comfortably. He mused for about five seconds and then began to write:

"Oh, my dear, my sweet,

I throw myself at your feet,

And beg your mercy…

If you hit me I'll hit you back,

And I'll fight you if you run away,

My serenade to you will be the sound of broken bones…"

"Oh, stop it!" Yumichika screamed and pulled the paper out of his hands. "We're trying to make her come to him, not file a harassment complaint."

"But wouldn't taicho do just that?"

"Well…maybe…but still…" the 5th seat sighed "Perhaps we should leave the poetry out. Although a serenade is a good idea. Perhaps Soi Fong taicho is fond of music."

"Yeah, but we need Ken chan in order to throw it."

"No need. We can get him drunk senseless and put him under her balcony and then I can throw my voice."

"You'll pass out before he's even tipsy. Besides, we're trying to spare him the humiliation here."

"How about a love letter." Yachiro grabbed the paper from Yumichika and rolled on her stomach, before writing "De-dear Soi Fong. I really, really like you. I think you are an amazing warrior and you're on the top of my list of people that kill in a most spectacular way. I think you look great in that skimpy top and when I try to sleep at night, I imagine how you'd look without it…"

"Oi, hold it there!" Ikkaku pulled the pen out of her hand "You can't write that!"

"No?"

"What I'm surprised about..." Yumichika mused "Is how you managed to write the word 'spectacular' without making a mistake?"

"Natural gift, I presume." Ikkaku sighed "But I don't think taicho would be so straightforward."

"Then what do you suggest we do? Send her flowers and hope she gets the idea?"

"Only if the flowers are decorated as to look like decapitated men…and then it's still not good enough."

"I've got it! Let's just invite her on a date!"

"With us?"

"No, with Ken-chan. And we'll make sure he's there on time. And they'll be all love-love just in time for Bya-kun's party."

"That's an interesting idea…only thing is how will we make sure Zaraki taicho doesn't screw things up?"

"Duh! We'll be there!"

* * *

In the early afternoon a big bouquet was delivered in the 2nd division office. The flowers were arranged to look like small rabbits and it had a small envelope attached to it. Soi Fong opened it and found in an invitation for a full hot springs procedure. No name.

"Who could this be from?" she turned to Yoruichi, who was currently taking a nap in her old chair. Whenever the Goddess of Flash came to visit, Soi Fong felt it necessary to let her take the commander's chair and stay in the commander's quarters. Yoruichi said that Soi wasn't obliged to give up her comfort in exchange of her own, but had to admit that the chair was cozier for sleeping.

"Ask the delivery man? But as far as I know, you probably have him in the interrogation room already, no?"

"He doesn't know anything. He just gets the address and does the thing. I'd probably have better luck with the shop, but they get a lot of orders daily-they wouldn't keep track of them."

"Well, maybe it's from you know who."

"Yoruichi-sama, surely you don't think that…Zaraki taicho wouldn't do such a thing."

"Why?"

"Because he's a straightforward man."

"And this is pretty straightforward-go to the hot springs so you can have sex."

"Yoruichi-sama, are you suggesting that I…actually go?"

"Why not? You are one of the most feared captains in the Gotei 13, nobody would dare jump you. And if Zaraki doesn't show up, who cares-you get to go to a hot spring."

"I wish you'd come with me."

"So do I, but they don't let pets in. And I wouldn't want to…ruin your moment."

* * *

Zaraki taicho sighed as he found himself in the changing room of the "Seiretei beauty and wellness onsen.", feeling like a fool. Yachiro had given him a card for a full procedure as an early father's day gift, but he never anticipated that she'd make him go suffer right away.

"You'd love it, Ken-chan!" she chirped "People would kill just to spend a day or two there."

So Zaraki Kenpachi was in the onsen…surprisingly alone. As it turned out rumor that the feared 11th division captain was going made most of the enthusiastic clients stay at home and satisfy themselves with a tub.

Soi Fong, however, didn't know Zaraki was there, and was warmly greeted by the owners of the hot springs. Glad there was nobody there to see her, she changed into a skimpy, two-piece black swimsuit and stepped out.

He was never going to have a massage again, Zaraki thought, as he stretched his arms on his way to the steam-room. Not that he was hurt, actually the boy, thanks to his zealousness, got his fingers twisted in an attempt to ease the captain's stone-like muscles. However, he got all sorts of oils on him that smelled really…annoyingly, and Zaraki felt slippery and…too greasy.

Stretching out on a bench he felt the hot stream rush through his body, as his ears picked out a sound coming from behind the wall. It sounded like some woman arguing.

* * *

"Do you actually expect me to sit in a tub of MUD?" that high pitch angry squeak was very similar to Soi Fong's. Zaraki listened more carefully.

"But ma'am, this is considered very therapeutically. It does miracles with tired skin. You'll see. And it's very hygienically and clear."

"It's mud, how can it be clear?"

"Well….it's germ-free."

A sigh of defeat and a gurgling sound. A door was opened and closed and then the only sound was the one of the steam pumps. Amused, and in higher spirits, Zaraki got out of the room and headed towards the mud-basins. Opening the door, he saw a sight that was not to be missed. Soi Fong, with her hair tied into a high bun, dressed with a tight black swimsuit, was sitting in a mud pool with her eyes closed. She didn't seem like she was enjoying herself.

"Therapeutically or not, this looks nasty." He commented, causing her to jump up, blush and stare in surprise. "Nice suit you've got there. Though I can't say whether you are almost naked or barely dressed."

"The same can be said about you." She grinned.

"Is this mud bath really that good?"

"Nope-it's a bunch of bullshit." She got up and threw a bucket of water over her head to clean the mud of "You know if there's a thing in this resort that's worth trying?"

"Don't go to the masseur, I don't think the boy's in the mood."

"Touched you where you shouldn't have?"

"Nope. Lack of professional experience."

* * *

Yachiro, Ikkaku and Yumichika stared from a nearby rooftop as the two captains stretched themselves on two lounges near the pool. Soi Fong took a dip in the aromatized water and had a face mask, which made her feel a bit relaxed, and Zaraki found the gym. Now the two were lazily sitting on the chaise-longs and were talking about casual things. It seemed that they were able to loosen up after the first few seconds of awkwardness.

"Should we leave them?" Yumichika mused.

"Nah, you can't be sure whether they'll be Ok like that." Yachiro said "We need to make sure they'll be in love when they get out of there."

"And how's that going to work?"

"Kiss, silly."

* * *

"So how's Shihoin?" Zaraki asked

"Who?"

"I know she's still around here, Soi Fong. I haven't felt her reiatsu yet, but all the gates to the Living world are closed. She couldn't have gone anywhere, and she sure wouldn't go to Rokungai."

"She's fine." Soi Fong said. Zaraki noticed that she didn't refer to her as "her Excellency" or "Yoruichi-sama".

"I see you've learned to loosen up." He said. She just shrugged. The thought that she didn't think of Yoruichi as a goddess anymore was nice and frightening at the same time. It felt like betrayal, but hadn't Yoruichi betrayed them all?

"Wanna swim?" he asked and without waiting for an answer scooped her up and jumped in the pool. Soi Fong laughed hysterically and swam after him. They made a few turns, and then collapsed on the lounges, completely exhausted.

* * *

Yumichika was still hesitating, but then used his sword's kido to make the water on their bodies take control of their muscles. Zaraki and Soi Fong didn't know what was happening before they found themselves plastered on each other…and incapable of moving.

After struggling to free themselves from this forced kiss (and discovering it was completely useless), they actually began enjoying the proximity and soon, they were kissing.

It was rough, hard, hot, animalistic, anything but gentle. There was a lot of biting and sucking as their tongues danced and their lips bled. Soi Fong discovered with great delight that Zaraki was not only enjoying it, but was actually returning the favor.

Just as they felt the pressure on their bodies drain away, they didn't feel like parting much. It was great, being together like that, enjoying themselves, without a care in the world…but then they noticed the three little shadows that were trying to make their escape and Zaraki got up to chase them.

And what happens next is left for you guys to imagine.

* * *


End file.
